Wednesday, October 24, 2007


When Lu was a baby I remember letting her get herself into a pickle from time to time.....if she was trying to roll over, I wouldn't immediately help her. If she went for the light socket, I let her so that she could feel the pop on her hand (by me) in my presence & learn from it rather than move her away & risk her shocking herself when I may not be right there. I can remember being so grateful that I was right there to alleviate a worse outcome. And letting her struggle to roll over or crawl rather than save her from the struggle, though difficult for me as her mom - I knew it was to help her. These toddler years have made all of that thinking a little cloudy......OK, a LOT cloudy. I don't know which way is up anymore. And maybe some of that has to do with this little guy who entered the picture & took my total focus off of her. But she is into everything. Testing the waters left & right. Defiant at times & I just want to throw up my hands & say "Come On!" and "You've got to be kidding me?" And maybe those words possibly have come out of my mouth ... to a 2 year old.....yes, i know, not the best chosen words in training this precious child that the good Lord has trusted me with. But I was reading something the other day about "opportunities." And a light bulb came back on in my head. That's what this is.
Motherhood. Growing up. That's what these frustrations of toddlerhood are. They are not frustrations...or at least they shouldn't be. But rather opportunities. Every time she makes a mistake or even is blatently defiant, she has given me an opportunity to show her that I love her unconditionally & sometimes I love her so much that we have to stop & deal with the consequences of that behavior. Like when she went for the light socket - the pop on the hand, though hurt as it may, could save the bigger hurt from ever having to happen. And she may never ever know that.

And I think of God. Has He "popped my hand" a few times in my life & it felt like pain, but in reality I could have been saved from a bigger pain?

Opportunities. Will I walk forward from tomorrow on & see each frustration she gives me as an opportunity to show in many different ways just how much I love her. And will she in turn, eventually...maybe, learn to respond the same way? I can hope, right?

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