Sunday, August 25, 2013

pedal on

You learned to ride your bike.
And once again, I find myself amazed to get to see little nuggets of how you are made show themselves out loud.
In many instances, you don't allow fear to paralyze you, but rather it propels you forward.
Last summer we had a scary moment at a pool party & when dad & I  looked around you were nowhere to be seen. 
You were in the pool.
You were underwater reaching for the side.
Because you couldn't swim.
Talk about a scared little momma & a terrified little girl.
I still feel like I might vomit when I think about those moments & what could've happened if just minutes more had passed by.
I'm grateful.
I am reminded that these days are not guaranteed & therefore I will embrace these moments of total grace.
But that's not the point of this story.
You got out of the pool very bothered & upset by what had happened.  And very determined that that would not happen again.
And you took one swim lesson and you swam.

I wanna be more like you, little girl.
You are brave & you are strong.

Several months ago we took the training wheels off of your bike & you said you were ready to tackle the 2-wheeler.  
Ready to play hard with the big kids.
But the reality of the situation sank in & you decided that maybe not yet.
Until this summer......you got on, you pedaled, you fell down & you said, "when you fall down you just gotta get back up...."
Your words.
Not mine.

I can't believe I'm watching this four year old play out big truths.  Being so brave.  Letting fear get behind you & move you forward.....things that adults spend lots & lots of money trying to conquer.

You, my girl, are a force.
You have a role in God's big love story.  
God dreamed you up real good & you are dearly, dearly loved.
You will only be little for a short while & then we will stand together & I will do my best to always see you as you.
Not as mine.
He made you to be you.
And you are His....not mine.

There is so much freedom in that.  So much excitement in the story He has for you, if I can just let this grip loosen a bit.  Part of this being your mom thing is learning to step away a little bit.  Not too far.  I mean, I don't want to miss anything.
Just a little bit.....

You're growing.   So fast you're growing in all the ways you're supposed to grow.
And you will fall.  You will.  And many don't bounce back so quickly......but you, my girl, do.  You bounce up & forward & onward & you just get stronger.

As I put our pictures together for our album these words start to swirl around in my head & I don't want to lose them.  So as I can, I will paint the pictures of your moments in words on this blog so we can remember.  I'm crazy about you little one.....my little sprite.

not the best picture...i know....but look at you ride!