therapy

Back in the days of my early 20s when I had this amazing career, can I call it that? It never felt that way but it was definitely more than a job. I loved it. I had this totally amazing opportunity to work along side my very best friend at Johns Hopkins Children's Center with teenagers - she worked with the school aged kids. JHCC does the best thing, in my opinion, by separating the hospital floors by age rather than diagnosis. There were certain diagnoses that didn't work that way for their own health's sake. But for the most part they allowed kids/teens to not be defined by an illness.
Now, I happen to adore the teenage years. I love the honesty & the pure hard-core drama & emotion that comes with it. I love chipping away at a wall of insecurity or fear & I just think it's a fun age of opportunity. When I would walk into a room of a patient I almost always brought play dough or clay with me. If nothing else it relaxed me & took my attention off the fact that this kid really didn't want me in there.
But usually they would take some too & once we were both occupied, the conversation tended to open up pretty quick.

We kept play dough around our house until I felt like I was just smearing money into my carpet/rug/whatever.
And what is the big deal about snapping that lid shut? Playdough that lives in an open air container becomes a borderline weapon & I am certain that I have sliced my skin with it.

But this past weekend, at an absolutely amazing retreat, a precious lady had me sit with play dough & her assignment for me was to sculpt a gift that God wanted to give to me. And it was one of the most spiritual experiences for me.
I lean towards the creative side of things & so I naturally began to think about what I wanted to make. And stopped.
I just rolled it around in my hands.
And I prayed.
And I began to make something.
Something beautiful.
And He whispers to my heart from time to time when I dare to sit & listen. And He was changing my sculpture. And I pushed back. I was already in process. I had my colors picked out. I was almost finished.
But I remembered that this was His gift to me. Not my gift to myself.
And so what He had me make visible was Him changing my heart & holding me in His big mighty hand.

It was a sweet thing to hold that sculpture in my hand.

And then to show it to my kids.
& then the baby destroyed it.
Oh well.
:)

We bought some play dough today & I had the kids sculpt a gift that God has given them that they are thankful for.
I played too .....

This is our family.....so far.
the kids were very concerned about which one was which - which just makes me laugh.
It's play dough!
And I say that.....but I definitely am the green one.

It's my favorite color.

The boy really really tried to explain this to me & I desperately wanted to know because I believe it is absolutely beautiful. But it turns out that he's not so sure as to what it is either. Nevertheless......there it is.

And my big girl. This right here is her love. I hope she never lets go of this special thing. Lucy is a part of our family & has made the wall of pictures. We do love her & hold our breath every time she has to head to the washing machine.
Scary times.

These are the hearts we made.....in the shape of a heart :)
We're crazy y'all.

Thank you sweet Andrea. And thank you Jenni. It was amazing. He is doing amazing things in this heart He has given me. And I know because He told me so.

In His Word. On the Cross. And with play dough.