misunderstood

IF...
the praise of man elates me and his blame depresses me; if I cannot rest under misunderstanding without defending myself; if I love to be loved more than to love, to be served more than to serve, then I know nothing of Calvary love.
Amy Carmichael

I had the opportunity to do a short study on Amy Carmichael a few years ago & I learned of these "If.." poems, statements, whatever you call them.

I heard a friend say recently that she can only read one of these a day.

I agree.

They can be very convicting & thought provoking. And she is one who went before us. Who blazed the trail that God invited her to & she was a mommy to many children in harms way in India.

And though I do not believe her specific purposes in life are the same as mine - I want to gather all I can from what she knows. She was one who walked hand & hand with the Father & when someone does that it seems only wise to tune in.

This quote takes me & throws me to the ground on a daily basis.
Being misunderstood is so very difficult for me.

When I feel that I am misunderstood I am always tempted to pick up the phone or shoot an email or whatever to simply explain myself. To make myself 'right' in their eyes.

And there are times when explanation & apologies need to be made & then there are times when sitting in the simple defense of the Gospel is all we are asked to do.

I pray daily to seek to understand. My baby's name means understanding & it has become a prayer for myself.

That one seems easier than to simply rest in the light of being misunderstood.
Understanding is not so easy, as it actually makes you step out of what you stand firmly on & see things from another point of view. Or in terms of the Gospel, it is often times letting go of lots of things that culture says "makes sense" & seek to understand outside of a comfort zone.

Both understanding & being understood require seeing people & circumstance through a focus that we will not understand clearly on this side of Heaven.

Accepting & embracing the truth that there is a God in Heaven that loves you unconditionally all the time & that is ultimately what matters.

I should be living this life for an audience of One.
I should find comfort solely in His attitude and opinion of me & my actions.
And yet I am constantly overwhelmed with how 'undone' I can be in the state of misundersanding.