it was another tear jerker

I learned that this thing would have come out a lot quicker had I remebered that slippery fingers do not pull teeth well. You know. No friction.
She was so scared & would go from begging me to pull it to crying & slapping her hand over her mouth. But when I took the bottom of her shirt & grabbed the tooth....well, it just came out. And she screamed & closed her eyes & she had no idea that I was holding her tooth in my hand. And I was teary & actually thought, "Wait! I'm not ready! We don't have our tooth-fairy pillow! It's out forever! I want to put it back!" I really & truly had those thoughts. & then she squinted up at me between sobs & saw what I was holding. And she burst out into giggles. And then ran to tell her daddy & her uncle Bobby who happened to be on the phone & got to share the moment.
And if that little bugger isn't wiggling for the next tooth to come out!

Too fast. It is all happening too fast.

Swagger

OK, I will neither confirm nor deny if I am crying from laughing....

He's home!

People ask me how Lee's trip to Haiti went.....and I try to answer the best I can. But it is his story to tell. I hope he will tell it someday on here. It may take him weeks, or even months, to really get the words out.
I know this.....he's changed.
It was so fun to be at the airport - we barely made it - but determined because of exactly what I knew I would see. The people that walked with him. The relationships that were formed. The people that heard his heart & shared a transforming experience with my husband. I wanted to be there for the hugs & the "goodbyes" & I wanted to meet them. It's been so great to hear Lee's stories from the trip & to see his pictures.....but what has also been really cool is to see other people's pictures. Sometimes I see a picture that someone took of Lee when he was in the middle of working or talking with children or friends. I see a little bit of this trip from their perspective. I would have loved to have been on that trip with him, but we knew that this was his trip. Not mine. Not even ours.
Like I said, this is his story. But I'll post some pictures. Here are some for now.....and I'm off to bed...and will post more for later.

my baby

I have had 3 sweet mornings with my baby. That strong and very sweet little girl.
I have loved every minute of it.

he called!

So, I have this special ring on my phone that tells me if Lee is calling. That way if I'm in the middle of changing a diaper or bathing the kids I won't jump up a runnin' for a "toll free number." And he has been in Haiti - we knew we wouldn't be able to talk, because of the $34/minute situation - which is strange because I can't think of 2 consecutive days that I haven't talked with him since we met! Anyway, I was upstairs folding some clothes & honest to goodness at that very moment just smiling as I heard those children playing & laughing together in the baby's room...when I heard it. Well, I went tearing to get the phone & was sure I missed it. The delay really made me think I had missed it. But there he was.....
He's doing great. Working hard. Getting extremely hot. Meeting some incredible people. And overwhelmed that people live in this place every day. They went to church & he mentioned how crazy it was to listen to hymns he sang growing up in a little church he went to sung at this church. In Haiti. In a different language.
We didn't get to talk long, but it was great. Thank you for all of your prayers and your phone calls and emails. Keep those prayers coming. This is something he (& we) has prayed about for a long time. And I couldn't be more proud of him.

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Eph 2:10

too big...too fast

What is it about wanting to lose your teeth? I don't understand. And I'll admit that I've been dreading this. I'm not ready for this milestone. I will celebrate with her. I promise. There will more than likely be cupcakes involved....or chick-fil-a ice dream, because I'm addicted & I can't stop talking about it....I mentioned that I liked ice dream to a friend the other day at the pool & she let me know that I had already told her. An embarrassing addiction. But there are worse things, right? Anyway, back to the melodrama of motherhood.... right now I just find myself in disbelief that she is old enough to shed those baby teeth. I remember sitting in one of my child development classes...I think it was the Hospitalized Child....and our teacher was talkikng about grief. About how grief can be partner to even the great things.
My baby is growing up.
They all are!
My oldest is about to lose a tooth & my boy is standing up at the potty & my BABY is asking to be potty trained! I was dumbfounded when that tiny little 20 lb 21 month old looked up at me & said, "Ina go tee tee mommy" And then she did. Right there on the potty. Now she hasn't succeeded since that moment....but still.
Growing up.
Too fast.
It's all just too much.

we really CAN do something

I have worked for a non-profit before & I have processed the $10 checks hand written by someone each month & it always made me smile. The effort & the consistency & the generosity of that person. Month after month after month.
And I have seen cupcakes turned into thousands of dollars that then turned into food & love & hope for the children of Mukisa.
And I saw people buy t shirts to support a young Atlanta native over in Tanzania helping to reshape the future of some children.
I am seeing Young Life leaders turning tshirts into changed hearts. And with a changed heart within a changed person.....watch out -
Because now I am watching our friend Billy use his birthday & a life changing experience to benefit others in a great way.
And through all of this I am seeing what may seem like a small amount of money change lives. When people come together - really BIG things can happen. Billy, for example, has over 4,000 people who are his facebook "friends"...... ONE DOLLAR from each of them will change people's lives forever. Not maybe. But for certain.
A dollar. You really cannot even buy a cup of coffee for that. I'm helping my husband pack for a trip to Haiti & he is able to go because many people chose to give. I am learning the value of every. single. dollar. It can really & truly change a life.
Change a community.
So often I have said "no" - not because of lack of interest or believing that a cause was unworthy. But usually because I think my little offering isn't enough.
And all alone, maybe it's not.
Sure, it may encourage someone. But it won't make a real difference to the problem at hand.
But when people come together & put all of their pennies in a bucket.......
that's when change happens.
Because here's the truth...and we know this deep inside, but something creeps in & tells us that we're wrong. But we're not. The truth is that we CAN do something. We can. It doesn't take much.
Do what you can.
Encourage others to simply do what they can.
And never out of guilt.
Always out of joy.
Do something.
I have never been more encouraged by the body of Christ in action. When we are mobilized....nothing is going to stop us.
Linking arms. And pressing forward. Working with what we've been given.

Haiti

My sweet husband is heading to Haiti pretty soon. And we will miss him so much!!! And we are so excited for him. Our oldest talks about a time & a place "where the earth shaked" & she knows that her daddy is going over to help those people. I LOVE the organization he is going with. They believe not in jumping in for a few moments & then jumping out....but rather in committing to a place, learning how to best help that community get itself on its feet. They jump in with them & they stick it out for the long haul....building relationships. Changed lives.....on both ends. They are only set up to serve in Kenya & Haiti right now. They are not spreading themselves too thin. They are truly investing in these communities. Here's a video from the 410 bridge & here's their blog & here's Lee's page. I will hopefully be tracking his trip as well. Thanks to all of you who so graciously have given towards his trip. You have absolutely no idea how encouraging it has been.

summer is here!

Summer is here & the ice cream consumption is hitting an all time high. And with these awesome tiny ice cream cones you can eat several with out ever feeling like you have been on an all-out ice cream binge. "They're my favorite" to steal a quote from my 5 year old. We had 3 different flavors & tried them all......several times.

I think I'm going to enjoy this season of summer :). But as the ideas swirl around in my head...I may need some help reeling it in....what are your ideas for summer?? Any favorite things you are looking forward to?

birthday

I had a birthday this weekend & it may have been the best one yet. We had such a great time - and i didn't have my camera on me all day, but i did when the family loaded me in the car early Saturday to venture out to a brunch spot.....brunch...it rarely happens with small children & it is my very favorite meal. Doesn't really matter what time you eat brunch....just that it is brunch. And Lee researched places to find the very spot that would knock my socks off.....and it did. AND - the place had cupcakes....AMAZING cupcakes. They gave me one to take home as a birthday happy.....and did I mention that our waitress & I share the same birthday....a fun day. A really really really fun day.

So, i don't have pictures of me shopping or spending some one on one time with my boy or dinner out with friends.....I only have the pictures from brunch....and I have hit that year that was officially "old" to me growing up. I remember vividly having conversations of what I would be doing when I was "thirty-five" .....and none of it is like I thought it would be when I thought about the future at 17..... I am not in a retirement home, I am a little behind on pop culture & technology as a whole & when i was shopping I thought how nice it is to now be a season behind on all the fashion trends because I can shop the sale racks & be thrilled & feel "caught up".... and I look at those faces & am reminded that I couldn't have dreamed it to be this great. Overwhelmingly blessed.
And I am still planning to celebrate. I let Lee know that the month of May is mine....all mine and we will celebrate until it ends :). So, Happy Birthday to me :).

soccer

I just love this kid. She's full of happiness & sillies. Lee & I got away for a weekend while they stayed with the grandparents (so so kind) & we got some good rest & good time together. Amazing the difference it makes all together. Their laughs are different....not really....but I hear them differently. I love Lee. I love these kids. I love love love this family. Anyway, I posted these pictures & these are the words that came with them.

That little girl brings joy with her.

And it's totally contagious.

falling apart

I had this long sappy entry written out & saved. I re-read it Sunday morning & realized I should shut it all down at about 10 pm. When I stay up late & write blog entries it ends being not good. So, today you get the pictures without the story. These are the last decent pictures I got with my camera. A friend told me he thought I "looked like I knew what i was doing with my camera" & i got a little cocky. Started pushing buttons & things have been a disaster ever since. I can't get a good picture to save my life. (AG, could you help a sister out? Is it a solvable problem?)

Pride goes before the fall, my friends.....

We went strawberry picking. Here are the pictures.

these two....

I can't wait to see the life stories that develop between this brother & sister. They are hilarious together.....

Mother's Day & 60feet

Just a reminder that Shelly & Jean are hosting this tomorrow!

Our friends are hosting a party where you can check all of your Mother's Day needs off your list & help people in the process! the proceeds will go to help 60feet.

This Friday from 10am-12pm, Jean Kirby and Shelly Owens will be selling beautiful handmade Ugandan necklaces and 100% of all proceeds will benefit Sixty Feet. Suggested donation for each necklace is only $10-$20 (although in the words of the Cupcake Kids, you're always welcome to just "give whatever is on your heart").

Please stop by anytime during the morning (address is below), check out the necklaces, hear about the trip, see some amazing pictures and enjoy some food, fun & fellowship. Please feel free to forward this email to anyone you'd like and we'll hope to see you there!

If you can't make it or aren't local but you'd still like to purchase a necklace in support of Sixty Feet, just email me and let me know -- I'll get it to you. I've literally got every color in the rainbow.

Blessings,

Shelly Owens
1702 Dunwoody Place, Atlanta 30324 (Buckhead, Lenox Mall area)

she gave me words

I read these words from this woman today.....she summed up a lot of the swirlings in my mind, but she writes in a way that people can actually comprehend. I try to communicate things to Lee & often get the stare as if I quite possibly could have been speaking Chinese. I just can't form my words into sentences very well....consistenly. Amazed with how she nailed the 5 stages of grief right here. I've been through them & never could have named it this way. Again, it helps to have good communication skills. I am learning that communication may not be my gift.....and that's ok. I'll just borrow from other people's blogs until I get the hang of it ;). These are her words....I hope they settle with you somewhere.

It has been three months since Nathan, Hannah, and I returned from Africa. In many ways it seems like we were there only yesterday. In others, it seems like an eternity ago.

I liken my first taste of Africa and my processing of it these last few months to someone who is going through the five stages of grief. I honestly think while I was there, I was in a state of shock. Being slightly numb is about the only way I could keep from weeping at every moment. I was carried along by the rhythm and flow of life in Ethiopia—the sights, and sounds, and smells. But I didn’t know how to feel. I was overwhelmed by the need and my lack of ability to do anything about it. And I certainly didn’t know how to reconcile everything I was seeing with my life back in America.

Which led me to anger. At injustice. At rich, spoiled Americans. At myself. Some justified anger, sure, but mostly my anger was misdirected. I wanted someone to blame. Surely someone was responsible for all this death and sickness and disparity, and so it must be all those people who don’t know, who don’t care, who don’t do anything. If they would just listen. If they would just care. I was ready to point my finger at anyone and everyone.

And, of course, at myself. Because Africa, like a magnifying mirror, reveals more of yourself than you really want to see. Things you hide well in a land of prosperity--like selfishness, laziness, greed, arrogance-- get exposed in a land of want. When you see a woman who has nothing use her meager supply of water and injera to serve you tea-- you can’t help but think of how often you’ve opened your overflowing pantry and sighed that there’s just nothing to fix for dinner. When you meet a man who walks the 3 miles back and forth to work, works 12 hour days, 7 days a week, all for about $2 a day, and he counts himself as blessed—you can’t help but think of how often you’ve complained you needed “me time” after a day “stuck” in your comfy house homeschooling your well-fed kids and folding enough laundry to clothe an army. When you give a child a piece of gum, and you look back to see them sharing it with 6 other children around them--you can’t help but think of overflowing Easter baskets and Christmas stockings stuffed full of goodies. And you feel fat. Regardless how much you weigh, you just feel like a soft, flabby glutton.

And so I entered the stage of bargaining. OK, God, I can still live in my house as long as I speak up for orphans and bring one home to live in it. I can still have 25 pairs of shoes as long as a couple of them are TOMS. I can still spend hours online doing nothing productive, as long as I occasionally post something thought provoking on facebook. I can still own way more than I need, as long as I donate some of the stuff I don’t really want anymore to Goodwill.

But that leads to depression. Because you can never really reconcile owning anything with having given enough. I think of the story where the man came to Jesus and said, ok, I’m ready to follow you, and Jesus said, only one more thing: go sell everything you have and give it to the poor. The man walked away sad. He could not do it. His heart was not willing. While I certainly believe it’s ok to own things, I can never again rest in a place of, ok, I’ve given enough, I’m good now. It will never be enough. And that can be deeply unsatisfying for someone who wants a simple black & white way to deal with my abundance. It just isn’t simple, people.

And I am finally accepting that. There is no easy answer. Really, I’m finding we here in America have a lot more in common with my new friends in Ethiopia than I originally thought. Our countries, yes, different indeed. But we are all people, created in God’s image, and in desperate need of the gospel. And redemption. What Africa wears on the outside, laid bare for all to see, we hide underneath layers in America. They wear physical disease, hunger, poverty, and need. Here, our layers of “stuff” hide emptiness, brokenness, despair, and a hunger that is never satisfied deep within our hearts. Their need is easier to identify, but ours is still there. Underneath it all are human beings with gaping wounds and fatal bleeding. We need a remedy. We need to be rescued.

And with my acceptance comes hope. I believe in a Remedy. I believe in a Rescuer. I serve a King who loves Africans and Americans. I believe He will use me, if I will daily seek to obey His leading in my life. I will not prescribe to you what you need to do, and what that will look like for you. I will not pretend there is an easy solution or that one need in one country is any greater than another need in another country. But for me, I cannot forget what I have seen, and I am now responsible for it. Under the veil of earthly things is a spiritual reality, one we sense when we close our eyes and stand still long enough to feel. We were meant to live for so much more than the American dream.

And so I will not doze off in the sleepy shire, I will engage in the battle. I want blisters on my hands and fatigue deep in my bones and scars on my heart from all I’ve seen and experienced---because too much is at stake. Lives are at stake. Physical and spiritual. I don’t want to cling tightly to anything, save Jesus. I want to spend myself—my life, my time, my resources—with reckless abandon. So that one day, when I stand before Him, I have nothing left. Nothing wasted. Nothing squandered.

I used to be anti-short-term mission trips. I just didn’t see the need to spend thousands of dollars to go somewhere for a few days where you would barely scratch the surface of the need but potentially leave with some sort of self-righteous satisfaction that you at least “did something”, returning to your life of complacency the other 350 days of the year. It seemed to me a bad use of resources that could be better used in the hands of someone who worked there long term as well as a hindrance to seeing the daily mission we are called to here.

But I have changed my mind. Go. Let the two worlds that are America and Africa collide in front of you. Spend the money, because in God’s economy, it’s a drop in the bucket. Like the woman who poured the perfume on the feet of Jesus, offer what seems excessive. When I asked an Ethiopian pastor who ran a local orphanage what I should tell my friends back at home, he said, "Tell them to come. Come and see. It means so much that you would get on a plane, leave your families behind, and come be with us and spend time with us.”

Why would that surprise us? After all, we were created for community. It is the greatest gift we can give as we seek to share Jesus.

So go and see. Serve. Share. But don’t wait to engage in the battle until your feet hit African soil. Start today. Start here. Because too much is at stake.

Join me in this conflicted state, where my sin and my obedience wrestle daily. Choose to live with eyes open. Stop spectating. Suit up, and get on the field, where you strive for the goal but often meet resistance and sometimes fail. It is not funner. It's harder. At times it feels like a burden. But it is what is true. What is real. And it is worth it, because it is where Jesus resides.

show update

The show for The Gilberts & TAWV was yesterday & it was great! For more pictures & a short update go here. There are some items still available for sale or for order & with Mother's Day just around the corner you may have just found what you were looking for! Also, the best looking & most budget friendly 4th of July attire!

my bug

60feet

Our friends headed over to Uganda on Saturday with a specific group of children in mind. They were able to see the kids today & the guys are doing an amazing job of keeping us posted on all that's giong on over there. We spend enough time watching reality TV - so this shouldn't be too hard. Check in on the sixty feet blog . See the images & read the stories. Know that it's not only real...it's right now. There are definitely some short term needs that are being met for these kids & as Dan & Michael gather information & make contacts we will learn best how we, as a community, can be a part of helping them have a shot at believing that they are loved and important and worth sacrificing for.

birthday on a budget

Well, in response to our friends Dan & Shelly, we would like to join this spend less to do good movement...and so we give you....birthday on a budget.
Our eldest spent the entire morning wrapping up gifts from around the house, many that didn't even belong to her, and giving them (with great delight & pride) to her daddy to open for his birthday.
She did color him a lovely picture.....and then gave him one of her Easter books, her brother's water colors & one of his trucks.

Generous little sucker. It made our morning - we laughed all day about it.

and I almost forgot that she gave him the owner's manual for the lawn mower that his parents gave him :).

This birthday card makes me laugh.......

And after the baby & I ran out for a little while, we came in to find this precious picture sound asleep on the sofa.

Worn. out.

I guess from all of the finding of & then the wrapping of all the gifts. And from all of the smiling & laughing & the eating of cinnamon rolls.

It was a great day. We finished it off celebrating the wedding of a sweet friend.

A perfect day.

look at her!

Well, look what my girl did today!!

I am so proud of her. If you know anything about this kid - you may know that not too long ago she would shake, scream & cry over bugs, butterflies, dogs (other than our own), swimming & lots of other things. We would have called her "fearful." All the reasoning in the world couldn't shake it.
And then she learned a Bible verse "do not fear for I am with you. do not be dismayed for I am your God & i will strenghthen you & help you & uphold you with My righteous right hand." My best bet is that she doesn't really know what all of that means. But she knew that it said, 'do not be afraid" & "I am with you" and she believed it.
She's come a long way......