Tuesday, December 18, 2007

It's the most wonderful time of the year.....

It was an interesting night. We've known for 2 years that tonight could go either way. It could be a joyous occasion - one for the memory books, or it could be full of tears - a chance to be brave & still one for the memory books. We visited Santa & it was the latter.
2 years ago, I dressed my precious little angel in her Christmas dress & I had big ideas for what this moment would hold. Looks of amazament & wonder - the magic of Christmas. None of that was present - at least not with our little party of 3. We had screams, tears & eventually the camera took a picture of L on my lap on Santa's lap. Embarrassing. But a really funny memory. The things we do for our children. I was totally unprepared for that....I had not even taken a shower & I chose to sit on Santa Claus' lap in front of 50 other onlookers so that I could have it documented forever? My brain wasn't functioning properly at that moment, because now whenever we talk about L's 1st traumatic visit with Santa we pull out a picture of ME sitting on Santa's lap with my daughter. Needless to say, we skipped Santa last year.

However.......we had been really working up for this year. We have been to the mall SEVERAL times to see what other children do when they meet Santa Claus, we've talked about who the big man in the red suit is & how he brings toys to little boys & girls on Christmas, how mommy & daddy think he's a good man & that we'll be right there watching....and then we talked about being brave & that even if you're a little afraid & even if you feel like crying that it's important to try anyway.
Ugh. Not fun.
We are in line & she is a little uncomfortable. We've made the list for Santa & she's a little bit interested in this man who might have some pull in bringing these amazing things to her house for her to play with. I thought we had a shot. We got closer & I even heard the man behind us say, "She doesn't look so sure. She looks like she really wants to, but not sure she can." He was dead on right. She wanted to succeed so badly - we could tell that she wanted to conquer this. So we put little brother on Santa's knee- no problem. Laid back little man, just chillin' out with Santa Claus & his sister sits down .... no, she was placed down after her arms & legs were pried from her father's body....screaming, crying, not thrilled. I look at Lee & say, "What do I do?" We agreed to let her go through it. I turned to the faces behind me & said, "I am a terrible mother".

But I have to be honest, & I am not just saying this to make myself feel better (though it does)....she was proud of herself. We sat her down afterwards with her & her candy cane & said, "You did it! You sat on his knee just liked we talked about! It's ok that you cried! You were scared & you sat on his knee anyway! So brave!" And she puffed up a little bit. All grins from that moment on. I, personally, am exhausted from the experience & I think I may make an effort to avoid Santa for the remainder of this Christmas season. But next year....I have high hopes for 2008.


The O'Brien Family said...

We are laughing out loud here! Hilarious! I think defininately we would have the same response here with our 3 year old.....almost exactly....and one year old would just chill out!

masterworks said...

LOL! I can rewind back to 1980 and see the same scene with my now almost-30yo son! Only in his case, when we finally received the photo from Santa (pre-digital photography back then), you could see all the way down to his tonsils due to his mouth being opened so wide with his sobs. ::grin::

It must be a 3yo thing. He was fine his first two trips to visit the man in the red suit.

And, yes, I thought I was a terrible mom, too. ...grin...