So, look who we ran into at the zoo. It was a little surreal. There was a crowd of people looking to see if anything was awake or moving around in this particular exhibit & he just wandered up & sat in front of us. I struggle with zoos....I just do. I have this tension of loving the ability to see this crazy creature up close, safe & personal...and then knowing that they don't belong there. And yes, there is lots of room for them to roam, but it's still not freedom. And I guess because I know what freedom for that animal could look like, with all the goods & bads that go along with it, I just wish they could know it too. I had NO intention of writing anything more than, "Hey! We saw Chewbacca at the zoo today!" But for some reason I'm on this rabbit trail & I can't seem to jump off. Anyway, with Easter being this weekend and Easter meaning freedom in so many ways to me....I see it as I stare at this guy. Does he even know he's stuck? Maybe not. But I wish for more for him. I believe our hearts & souls were made to live on forever & ever. And I don't think that means that we're all going to heaven. I just think we were meant to live on forever. And I grew up thinking that you either went to heaven or there was just nothing, (because the nothing was easier than believing in hell)...and I don't think that's it. I believe in heaven & I believe in hell. So anyway. Freedom. Knowing that my soul will live on forever gives a grander purpose to things. Knowing that the 'atta boys' in my time here are not what I'm after. But to trust in the bigger plan of a God who said to love one another, even when it's hard. To forgive one another, even when they hurt you. To pray for your enemies, even though they are...well, ... your enemies. A God who said when you have cared for the least of these you have cared for Me. A God who said I care so much about being with you again that I will take the punishment so you don't have to. A God who says I see the freedom that you could have & with the goods & the bads that come with that freedom....I want more for you.
And for whatever reason, and I say this because I lived it for so long, but for whatever reason I pushed back on this idea of being rescued. I don't know if I pushed back because I didn't think I needed to be rescued that I could work it all out all by myself. Or that I just didn't like the way the people who "preached" that message lived - they seemed to criticize & judge people's behaviors so often...and I didn't see much love lived out. But I see my judgement on those people in that statement. The freedom that comes from knowing that God has a plan & a purpose for my life.....that may actually be for the benefit of many...that He freed me up from having to "get it right" because I never will & freed me up from having to earn my way, because I never can. He freed me up by taking my place on a cross, conquered death so that I can live on & trust that there's a bigger message to spread. To love God, trust Jesus & love others...and to resist letting my opinions getting bled into that.