childhood

One of the things we did while dad was in China was pull out the blankets & sheets to build a fort. This is one of my fondest memories as a kid. I remember using every piece of furniture I could & every clean sheet in the house to build gi-normous forts. And somehow, reading a book or drinking a glass of water all seemed like so much more fun ... in a fort! It is one time I wish we had some carpeting because hardwood forts just aren't as much fun. But the kids gathered all of my pillows for cushioning - I don't have a picture of that. So in the midst of the craziness.....we did have some laughs. I hope that's what they remember. I hope those are the stories I remember to tell. Not the week dad went to china & everyone threw up all over me & the furniture. I hope they remember that we baked cookies, built forts & stayed in our pajamas a LOT. My big girl asks me often, "Mom, do you remember when...." & she will retell these stories from a couple of YEARS ago. HALF of her life ago & she remembers it. These are the memories of their lives. Of their childhood. I hope they remember them as happy memories.
I do.

I really really do.
I was driving down the road the other day & a song by the Cranberries came on. I was immediately back in college. And then I thought about who I am today. I'm so different that I barely recognize that girl of 22. Isn't that crazy? and I wouldn't go back. It's like without Lee & these kids I wasn't who I really am yet......and I finally feel like I'm on the right road. Life before these miracles....these four miracles......is just blurry.

And I'm so so glad for the now.