Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Sitting Gracefully

Why is it that sitting still is so difficult? I have been told by several people to just "sit still" - so I am trying. But when I sit I am leaving things undone. The phone rings & I have not completed tasks I need to complete, so I either don't answer or answer with a knot in my stomach. So I sit & bathe in the guilt of sitting. It's a difficult thing to give yourself a break these days....why is that? Grace is not given readily. And I am learning that I expect grace - when grace is really not necessarily deserved. And so I take it for granted. You see, I expect people to just understand & cut me slack, but that's not how it works. I am certainly to blame in this arena- I should do a better job of extending grace. People get let down & their expectations are not met & someone always needs to be in the seat of blame & so that grace that we expect is not given. Which makes me so grateful for the grace I have been given. I will never ever ever meet all of my deadlines, meet everyone's expectations, be on time for everyone & people will be let down & some will extend grace & some will not. It's not a guarantee. But it is with God. And I take that for granted. I so desperately seek the grace & acceptance of others that I forget the one who lavishes me with grace & acceptance all the time. Can I rest in that?

I will try. Can I reflect that grace to my children? That has been a bigger question. I tend to expect much from my children & it is so unnecessary. When you are 3, you tend to do things that a 3 year old would do - she is not a 24 year old trapped in a little body...she is in fact .... only 3. L loves to put on my "lipstick" - it's chapstick. We're big chapstickers in my family. I come from a long line of chapstickers. My uncle died last year & I was in his home just after his funeral & opened a drawer to find a box of like 200 tubes of chapstick. I grinned. AndI grin everytime I pull mine out. But I digress....L knows not to go in my purse. I mean, I have told her many times, she should get it, right?

My expectation vs the reality that she is 3.

So I turned the corner the other day & saw a fast movement out of the corner of my eye.

"What's up?" I ask

"Oh, nofing" she responds with berry colored lipstick all over her face.

A choice. My choice. I have an opportunity. Do I A) send home the message with a swift smack on the bottom or a time out? or B) just ignore it
"Whatcha been doin'?" I ask.

"Um, I do nofing"
So I picked her up gently, and walked her into the bathroom & turned her around so she could see herself. We both giggled. She's 3. It's fun that she's 3. It's so much fun that she is doing exactly what a 3 year old should be doing & I get to be a part of it. Wouldn't it be nice if we all extended each other that kind of grace. I wish that when I made a mistake that someone would giggle with me about the human-ness of making mistakes. We should do that for each other more often. And for me, it will begin with resting in the grace pouring over me from above.....and may it overflow all over my children.
Side note: this picture was actually taken later with some pretty princess lipgloss - I don't keep purple lipstick in my purse :)

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