Jofferson

Almost five years ago, we went through something that I had only heard about & though I certainly had compassion for people who had walked this particular road, I never truly understood the pain that came with it. Almost five years ago, my husband & I went to the doctor with such hope & expectation to see our baby's heartbeat on the ultrasound screen again. And we didn't. In that moment, I was so sad, but I was so numb. Hours later it hit me & the wave of emotions that came were overwhelming. The questions of why & would I ever get to be a mother came at me so fast & so frequently. It's hard to escape your thoughts.

Later that year, we had a beautiful healthy baby girl. Then a year or so later, we lost another little baby. Two "miscarriages," & I only use that term because other people seem more comfortable with it. For me, I lost 2 babies. No matter how tiny & young, in my heart I had grown them up & held them in my arms. I had dreams of who they would be. And I still do. A friend told me of a man who lost a child & fell into great grief. He had a dream & in his dream God came to him & asked, "What is it you want most for each of your children?" The man answered, "To know You, Lord."

"Well, one of them already does."

I hang on to that story. And I love the idea of happy whole children that I will meet one day - when I go home.

The point of this story.....last year on Valentine's Day (I was 8 months pregnant with our little boy), my sweet sweet thoughtful husband gave me a gift. He adopted a little boy through Compassion International. Jofferson's birthdate is August 24 - which is the due date for the last baby we lost. What a special way to fill a dark void with such joy.

I have learned that February is blogging month for Compassion International & I think it's a great idea! Jofferson is someone that our family will pray for daily & my hope is that my children will know him as part of our family. Everyone should adopt a child or many through Compassion.....so here's my plug.

I have linked some other Compassion bloggers to to left. They're awesome - you should check them out.