AG

Lee & I were ready to have a 'regular' babysitter. But we wanted someone who would love our family. Someone who would want to linger. Someone who would love my kids, not just tolerate them.

And we prayed for someone.

And a random resume came to my inbox as they so often do. I had never called one of those people before but this girl was a Young Life leader & I do love a Young Life leader.

And we gave it shot.

It was a match made in Heaven.

AG loved us & we loved her.

She walked into our house, we made introductions & she made it clear that she wasn't a fan of stickers & corrected my big girl when she didn't address me with a "yes, Ma'am," and she made up amazing stories to tell them & played hide & seek....& she loved them so well.

And she was a part of us. The person who could just come over & spend the day. The person who let you know that absolutely you can wear those red shoes with the black dress.

She was my friend & Lee's friend & a fun sister type of person to my kids.

And she moved.

And we miss her.

And I am feeling a little like Shel Silverstein with all of my short little choppy sentences.

But she comes back & visits & today we had her for the afternoon & she saved the day by tucking the babes in bed for us tonight.

She's our super special friend & she made our day today.

Come back AG!

being the body

I love David Eldridge & the message he delivers about living out the plans that God has for each of us. Most of his sermons point back to this idea, but the "wine & wineskins" series really helped me, as did some friends who could tell me the truth about what they saw in me that God had planted there.

It's a grace that God gives - the way He made each of us & the passions He placed in each heart.

I am constantly amazed as I watch people responding to the overwhelming love from our Heavenly Father. When it really comes into focus. That we cannot pay Him back. We cannot do anything to earn our way.
Not people who are emotionallay manipulated into something.
Not guilted into caring for something.
Not following the crowd.
But the genuine reponse to Him.

Just loving Him back.

Because almost everyone I know is passionate about something.

-some have lost loved ones to diseases - and if everyone in the world would give a little maybe we could erradicate that particular disease.

-some are passionate about getting people off the street & if we would all put our time & resources together we could help people get jobs & earning a living with dignity.

-for many, myself included, it's the orphan crisis in this world - children w/o families for so many different reasons & if we would all stand up & welcome someone into our home or equip those childrens' families with the resources they need we could "fix" it

-and for some it is walking with the elderly - and if we would all give of our time & reach out we could be a friend & hear the stories of a generation that in some cases is being left behind.

-recognizing the need for high school students to understand clearly how valuable they are in the eyes of God when they are faced with everything around them telling them they're not. And if we would each take some time & be intentional to know these kids then they would see their value & know that they are loved by the God of the universe.

And it's not solely about linking arms with the people who agree with our heartbeat & leaving the others behind - I believe it's about encouraging one another in these works.

And it's not about fixing the problem - because if we could fix it then we would have no need for a Savior.
And it can't be out of guilted obligation because then we're no better than the pharisee believing that we can be good enough to earn His approval.
I believe it's simply about responding to Him, to His love, and watching the loving face of God paint His picture of redemption through His people.

And here's the guarantee - when you respond to the purpose He has for your life it will mean saying no to many other really great things.

It is so good to share our passions. And it is so good to encourage one another.
But it would be against God's beautiful design to encourage someone to walk a path that God never laid out for them to begin with.

I love seeing people live out those purposes. I am so energized when I see people moving forward in their call.
Not trying to make it the call for everyone else.
But embracing their God-given journey, walking with others placed in the path beside them & shouting encouraging words towards those placed along other paths.

It's being the body of Christ.

wink

how often to you catch a guy mid-wink?

I just like the pic.....he'll be so pumped that I shared it with you. :)

Honey, if you're reading....I love you ;)

mercy

Lee & I were out together recently. I have no idea where we were, but we were sans kiddos, which is rare these days and anyway, he asked me a question.

Something along the lines of - "what's a word that you hope people use to describe you?"

Hmmm.

He's a good question-asker that husband o mine.

And my answer left me feeling pretty convicted. Like a punch in the stomach.

Compassionate.

That's the answer.

The truth is that I am so incredibly aware that I am willing to give compassion to those whom I choose to give compassion to. Children without families, people without food, families who have lost a child, a friend in need, the friend of a friend whom I happen to have nuggets of information to make it personal enough for me to be truly compassionate, people without, I will stand up & shout from the box of 'social justice'....you get the picture. I'm just being honest. The people that are 'easy' to be compassionate for.
But the people who disagree with me.
The people who don't see the world through my eyes.
The people who don't pull the weight I think they should.
People who misrepresent the Gospel.
People who are not generous to help others.
People who I may stamp as "selfish"
Friends who have treated me unfairly.
People who have talked behind my back.
Just simply the people I choose to not have compassion for.

And I was reading along in Mark. "...and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you..."

I'm not comfortable with that.
What measure do I use?
Because any measure I use is enough to convict me.
And I thought of Jesus hanging on the cross - betrayed. beaten. dying.

and innocent.

And He asked the Father to forgive them.

What measure is that?

It's one that understands the big picture.
How can I place myself so prominently central in a story that is not about me?
Or even about the things I see as important.
If I truly lived my life as one who "got it" - compassion would come easy.
And the great God in all His grace & mercy....is gently showing me this yucky part of myself & I will let the Great Physician do His work.

What's your word?

the dynamic duo

I love these 2.

She's totally a mother hen & he's totally getting tired of it.

But then we have moments like this.

I'm thankful they have one another.

I pray each night that they will be the best of friends - that they will spur one another along in their walk with the Lord. That they will encourage one another to do the right thing. That they will be for each other.

I remember the night he was born. We didn't know there was a big old boy growing & when we learned that indeed he was....Lee said he was thankful to break up the drama :).

He's the boy that though forced to wear the tu-tu in the in-home dance recital prefers to simply announce the dances. In a cowboy hat. I didn't grow up with boys & I'm loving this.

I'm loving the brother sister dynamic.

I'm loving their dynamic.

I never could have imagined it would be this amazing. Being their mother.

But God always did.

why not Ethiopia?

I grabbed this from Emily.

more snow

Just because i think she's adorable...and it won't be too long before she will actually fit into those gloves......why is time flying by so fast?

snowjam pics

I was so excited about the snow coming.
I actually don't really like snow.
Unless I'm skiing & even then I prefer it to be super sunny.
And powdery.

And in Colorado.
I'm a little high maintenance when it comes to things of the weather.
And it's not really that I don't like the snow - I just prefer to not be in it.
I'd rather be inside.

By a fire.
With a cup of hot cocoa in my hands.
With whipped cream on top.
Not marshmallows.
And I like to snuggle under blankets with my man & my babies & watch movies.
With the hot chocolate & some popcorn would be nice.

Anyway....moving along.
I was excited for the kids to see the snow & I even wanted them to stay up to see it begin to cover the ground, but they were crying to be put in the beds.....
So as soon as we all woke up I had them gather the snow for the snowcream that, you know, we had for breakfast.
Notice the PJs and lack of wintery clothes...
WE. LIVE. IN. THE. SOUTH. FOR. A. REASON.
I get why we don't have the snow plows.
It's the same reason I have not invested in big fluffy down coats.
For any of us.

The stuff is good....sort of.....the idea of snowcream is better than the actual snowcream.
Or maybe I need to play with the recipe.
The chocolate syrup was a plus - it always is, right?

These are the things I do well in the snow.
I do the inside stuff well.
And I'm comfortable with that part of me.

More to come. I'm on a strict bedtime these days.

Gotta run.

Dube Bute

Emily has been kind to talk me through a few things over this past year+ & though I am watching her life from afar, like so many others, I am amazed with the passion that the Lord has placed on their family's heart. They brought home Abe to be their son & then Eyasu.....& they have recently begun a project to help improve the conditions of the village where Eyasu lived for the first 2 years of his life. His family & community will be loved & changed by the outstretched arm of the Body of Christ.
AND to top it all off....the raffle is super awesome & you are going to want to be a part of it ANYWAY.
So....GO HERE & learn all about it.

On a totally unrelated note.....I have been without the computer....borrowing the husband's right now....hoping to get mine back soon with pictures all in tact ready to post some fun memories of these past few months. I have missed this bloggy thing & hope to see you real soon :).

birthday pictures

FINALLY!

Here are some pictures of the girl on her big day turned into week.

It was a blast.

I hope she knows how thankful we are for her.

and please, how adorable is her "6" shirt????? Love it Ashleigh!! Thank you!

This cake was left at BR by some friends of ours....you'll notice that we took the spoons to it right then. It was a great night.

red light means go??

The photo uploader is still missing.....and I have some GREAT pictures to post!!!!
Grrrrrrrr.
I am painted almost all over & you have not been invited in or near my house for good reason -because it is a disaster.
Priority #1 is to finish painting.
So I have literally been stepping over laundry & praying that breakfast would magically appear at my house...and you know what?
It did.
Big shout out to Kimberly. You really have no idea the gift that rests in that pumpkin bread. The kids were giong to have leftover lasagna tomorrow for breakfast.
So. Many thanks. From all of us.

I want to be finished with painting so that I can enjoy completely these next few days before Christmas. We still have lots to cram in! I'm tempted to move Christmas to the 26th just because I NEED AN EXTRA DAY!!!!
There's baking that needs to be done & a playroom that should be in good order for the big day & boxes that should have been shipped last week but alas....they haven't. And friends I desperately want to just sit & sip a cup of coffee with.....
Argh.

But as I paint I do have the joy of reading the Words of Scripture over & over again. And when I do this I am often amazed at what speaks to my heart.
Mary, for instance, has been on my heart a lot.
I was pregnant during a December & I clearly remember gasping at the thought of riding a donkey. I found that my honda accord sat waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too low for someone as pregnant as I was & taking cues from all around me I assumed I needed an SUV for this 7 or 8 pound person that would be riding with me soon.
Turns out that all I really needed were diapers, a pack n play was sufficient, like 4 onesies, wipes, bottles, a blanket & some sleep.
I didn't really need the SUV.
But I digress.....

I think about the law of the day when Mary was born.
An unwed woman carrying a child??
I am betting that from the outside it looked very "unwise" for Jospeh to stay with her.
I wonder what her parents said.
I wonder what his parents said.
I wonder about the Son of God being born in a way that may have caused conflict....even scandal.
I wonder about this idea that God blesses with comfort & wealth & health, & then I see the Savior of the world born in a barn.

I heard a preacher speak the other day while I was painting.
Matt Chandler (thanks Jill :) ). He said something along the lines of how sometimes we can begin to think of our Bibles as God. We cling so tightly to the principles that we lose sight of the relationship.

Jesus' birth paints a sweet picture of that.
According to the law & sound principle - none of this made much sense.

I was driving down the road the other day & I pulled up to an intersection where my car & I frequently travel. And the light was red.
But there was a crossing guard waving me forward.

The crossing guard trumps the red light.
You should always always stop at red lights. It's the law. It keeps us & others safe.
Unless a policeman steps in with information that you don't have access to & tells you to drive right through it.

I am not a person who likes being indebted to people.
I have a hard time receiving help because of it.
I wonder 'are there strings attached?' & 'what will be expected of me if I say yes?'
So, I probably say 'no' more often than 'yes'.
Salvation was a tough one for me to grasp because of the feeling that I was indebted thing.
I lived my life under the idea that I must perform better, serve better,
do it all a little. bit. better.
Trying to get it right all the time is exhausting.
Trying to be understood all the time brings me to the point of crazy.
Understanding that God didn't give me a set of rules to be locked in a prison with. He offered the opportunity for me to know Him.
And to rest in the truth that He already knew me.......and He liked me.

He's the God who said to the men who desperately wanted to please God by observing His laws ....that healing a man on the sabbath was a good thing.
That being with Him was the "why" of it all anyway.
That's what He always wanted.
To be with us.

Emmanuel - God with us.

Merry Christmas.

six years.

She turns 6 today.

How did that happen??

I feel like recently I have cradled each of them as if they were a little bit smaller & I have told them the story of the day I met them.

Precious days for me.

These people that get to begin their lives in my home. They did nothing to deserve being there and I must remember that I did nothing as well.

The whole thing is just a great big miracle. With the fingerprints of God's grace all over it.

When I think of all the reasons to tell them about why I think they are so incredibly awesome I am blown away by all that makes them who they are.

That I am such a tiny part of that.

They are reflections of their Heavenly Father. I pray that they will grow to reflect Him more & more.

On this day, my big girl, I want you to know how amazing I think you are.

How your smile can change the hearts of everyone you come around. That even on those days when I hear the stories of you being left out of something with friends...that you never see it that way.

You assume the best in people.

I love that about you.

I love how you like to tell us how to do things. You have a helpful spirit within you. A little bossy at times, but mostly just super duper helpful.

You have an enthusiasm that I want.

You desire to please & I pray that you will always rest in the fact that you are dearly loved.

You teach us each day.

And I am so very grateful that I get to be your mom.

You didn't have to be born of my body for me to love you. You don't have to do anything for me to love you. There's nothing you could ever do to make me stop loving you.

Chances are good that we are in for some disagreement in our future - and even in that - I will love you & be for you - knowing & believing that God has big plans for your life.

Plans that are bigger than my brain.

And that's good.

That is very very good.

Happy birthday big girl.

I will locate the photo uploader & post pictures from the day later on....

good night

You totally knock my socks off.

ornaments

Last year I let painting take the best of me & I feel like I "missed" Christmas a little bit.
I definitely have been painting more than I should lately, but our nice little break is just around the corner. However, I'm not missing the fun of Christmas this year. We are baking & making ornaments & drinking hot chocolate for breakfast & it's been great!!
When we pulled out the ornaments this year I was surprised at the emotion around some of them. My mind would flash back to the ones they made. Remembering the time & place. And that their hands were smaller....and how are they getting so big so fast??
And this seemed to be the 1st year that at least the big girl "got it."
So.....this is one of the ornaments we have made this year. The ball. I think she did a great job with it!!! I would cover my tree with them if Icould. But I will practice self control & save room for the years to come.



Or we will just have 2 trees.

there she is

Getting so big. With a personality that she barely carry all by herself. She's a mess. And we're all pretty much in love with her.
She's a girl who knows what she wants & she's a big communicator because of it. It's funny the things I thought were absolutely true about her just a few months ago I am seeing differently. She's slowly showing us who she is.
I can't imagine life without this baby who jumps up & down when I walk into her room to get her.
Who claps & cheers for her daddy after he "prays for the day" in the car.
Who will often exit a room with a turn of her head & a simple "kisses!" as she blows one away.
Amazing little girl.
How come I get to witness this time of her life??
A total priviledge.

too much space

Lee & I took a stroll down memory lane last night & laughed until we almost cried reliving this moment.
And after we got some control over ourselves I started reading through old posts I had written.
I am so glad for the memories recorded here. The funny things these kids have said along the way. And the way they said it.
It has all passed & I would have forgotten without this sweet reminder.
And I am actually sad that I haven't kept better records lately.
The kids are still funny. And a lot is going on......
A lot of stretching & straining within my own life, which I am thankful for & even that is weird to say.
It amazed me how aware I became of my words on this blog - not knowing who was reading them & if it mattered to me.
So I took a break.
An unplanned break.
And though it has been okay to have this break....I want to get back.
And so I plan to.
Tomorrow sometime i'll be here......
so I'll see you then :).

not the Christmas card

Now, we are not actually doing Christmas cards this year - this season has already gotten away from us & I don't think we can add another "to do" to the list without going absolutely crazy.
But we do want a picture for our books...
and this isn't it.

Nor is this...poor baby. She looks as if she is being lovingly strangled in this picture.

Or this ...

But they make for good memories....and quite honestly it's much more authentic this way :).

cheese

Can't say that I particularly like this picture of myself - but the picture of that baby just makes me laugh. Perfectly captures how she is trying to smile for pictures these days.
If she is being forced into a picture - this is her trying-real-hard face.
And I am in love with it.
She truly has a wonderful smile.....but this isn't it.
More pictures to come of us all enjoying this Christmas season...I'll leave the ones out where I'm up to my eyeballs in paint.

thankful

We made it back home to see my family for Thanksgiving & without much planning it turned out that both of my sisters were there too!
Would you look at all of those girls??
It was loads of fun & I may have doubled my weight in the food I ate.....and I consider it well worth it.
Complete gluttony.
And I do feel bad about that.
A little bit.
I have sisters & with girls comes drama.
And the drama has made me a better person. I'm thankful for those girls standing next to me. And for all those littles standing in front of us - rotting their teeth out with those lollies. And that boy would have nothing to do with the girls' table. He sat proudly next to his daddy & his uncle & drank the 1st sprite out of a bottle ever. In fact, I'm not sure he has ever ordered a soft drink at a restaurant before. It was a big night for the kid.

So there's a little update from Thanksgiving.....I'm a little delayed on the blog updates these days. I hope i am getting better....but I can't make any promises :). Christmas has arrived! & I have joined the crazy.

shopping

I don't know about you, but I love so many things about Christmas. I love that my first baby was born around Christmas - I love hot chocolate with Christmas music playing & cookies baking & bringing treats to friends & decorating the tree & Christmas PJs & being reminded about the reason of this huge celebration. I am way more overwhelmed about the reason for Christmas with littles around wanting to know about the "why" of all the madness.

But equally on the other side of all the joy & fluttering I am balanced by the anxiety of the cost of Christmas. The cost of meeting everyone's expectations & checking things off the list.

And I know I'm not alone because I have heard more TV & radio personalities talking about how to deal with this particular issue. And if I sound really cynical there - well, maybe it's because I guess I do sound that way.

But the truth is that I LOVE giving the right gift - the one thing that will make that person so happy & feel so thought of.

I love to wrap presents.

I love all of those things.

It's the cost that drowns me in those heavy feelings.

That & the crowds.

Well. I am learning that there are ways to be doubly generous during the holidays.

This Christmas when you give a gift you can feel so good that you have been a part of big stories. I keep hearing about people who have wonderful gifts available & they are raising money for great causes - helping women & children rescued from the sex trade & people on the journey to adopt .... and more...I'll update again...but for now, check this out.Gus & Lula - has AWESOME Christmas cards & more.

I plan to buy a print or two & have them framed in my house.

There are also crazy fun silhouettes!

Another sweet adoptive momma is making Christmas cards as well. Here's a sample of her work & her contact info

Intown Sundries has THE BEST smelling/feeling soaps & wraps them so beautifully. You can read a bit about what they are up to RIGHT HERE IN ATLANTA & check out her etsy shop here

And I'm a pretty big fan of what Emily & her crew are up to in Ethiopia - and I'm also loving this tumbler.

And I've ADORED the pin & shirt I bought from Sewing Seeds Ministry - 100% of the proceeds go to the community in Nicaruagua that is learning how to support their community. Here's a fun little picture of one of their creations in the making. And here's their website - I'm not really sure how to even get your hands on their things...but they are set up through Northside Methodist Church.

OK, that's all for now.....will keep you posted! Happy shopping!!!

Jingle Jangle

Anyone who knows me, knows that right now I am staying up way too late these days.
And those same people know how much I love this.
It's the time of year when I am painting more than ever - I only do 1-2 shows a year usually & this is when they usually fall....and I enjoy it.
My hands can't get the things in my head out fast enough.
The Garden Market is this weekend. And could go on & on about why I love this market so much. But what I love most about it is how it began.
Wendi & I had paid way too much money to be in a 2 or 3 day show. We set up a big ol tent - I'm still not sure where that tent came from. But it was a poorly marketed show. Hardly anyone was there. And we were disappointed.
But we turned that moping into grand planning. That experience - that crappy market experience - is what gave birth to the market. A Market where our goal was to encourage people in what they do.
We knew right then that we knew people who had gifts that should be shared.
And we decided that we would be a part of encouraging them in their gifts.
We also believe in community - we believe in linking arms with one another to make this work. This video paints a sweet picture of our hope of this market.
People using their gifts - their God-given gifts. Bringing glory to Him by doing what He made them to do.


The vendors are generous - so often we find that the hearts of these artists are so pure & sweet. They are so often letting their gifts be an offering in donating portions of their proceeds towards various organizations. I love to see that.
Jennifer Tanksley, who is in the video above, is one of the artists. She has been with us for a few years now & I love the way she uses her gifts.
Check out the blog & learn about how you can be generous this Christmas, simply in giving your Christmas gifts. You are more than likely going to need a few gifts anyway....might as well let those gifts benefit others.