and 2 became 5

her eyes.

2012-02-15T04:49:00.000-08:00

My baby....well, my big girl.....goes to the dr this week to learn about how her eye is doing.

She's been a trooper.

She is so responsible about wearing her patch for her 4 hours every day. I often don't even have to remind her to put it on. She just does it.

And when we found out that the littles were getting glasses, she didn't complain that they didn't have to wear patches & she did. She asked 'why?' & sighed a little because it's hard to do things like this all by yourself......but she moved on.

She's been strong & I'm so proud of her & I'm jotting it down here because I want her to never forget that I admire her for how she has handled this. It's not a big deal in the big picture.

We know that.

She knows that.

But she wishes she could see normally & if she can't she just wishes that she could not have to wear her patch.....as pretty & fun as they are. Some days she just wants, and these are her words, "for people to not stare at me."

So. She's praying & I'm praying with her. And we would love for anyone reading this to pray about this part of her story......that her vision would be great. Great enough to say farewell to the pretty patches. And that we would completely trust that the Lord has a big story for her life & whatever that looks like, that we will rejoice. And God gets the glory for all of it because it's His big amazing canvas.

Not perfection. Perfection, or even the attempt or desire for perfection, keeps us clinging to ourselves or to another's applause. We want whatever it is that keeps us close to Him.

Patch or no patch.

the hearts part deux

2012-02-14T05:57:00.000-08:00

We had a blast making these!!

It has been nice to have a little time carved out to really spend some time this year, this season, whatever..... it's been nice to have time.

It's funny, it's not like the time hasn't been there all along - we have just filled it up with stuff that I honestly can't really remember. These are the moments I remember & it's usually because the kids won't let me forget! Short amount of amazingly messy happy times are totally multiplied.

hearts & a big ol mess

2012-02-12T18:10:00.000-08:00

Yes. I'm remembering it all so clearly now. These are my favorite things. Valentine's, for starters, though not my favorite holiday with all the commercializing the love, but I do love the hearts & the chocolate & the crafts & the candy.

But a true love of mine is just getting a little messy on the kitchen floor with the littles. I don't do it enough & we haven't done it in a while. We started making our valentine's today & had a pretty great time. And oh my goodness why don't I just snap her picture all the live long day? That face! That funny expression! & she does it always when the camera is on her. These are the days......right?

I was in line at target & a dad told me to hold on to these days & I could tell he was remembering his bigs when they were littles. And I can't imagine the memories that he holds in his heart because my heart could explode with all that is in there already.

And as an added bonus I feel such freedom snapping the pictures at moments like this because my house is supposed to look like this. You don't notice what a disaster it all is with the glory of the flour & such scattered here, there & yonder.

I love playing with dough - something messy & pliable that can be molded into something beautiful. The sweet picture of this while making hearts just makes for pretty awesome conversation. Beautiful messes covered by grace. I can't wait to post pictures of their finished products!!!

The Doster Family: Give Them Grace

2012-02-10T18:47:00.000-08:00

My sweet friend Rebecca wrote his post today & thought it was worth passing along.

The Doster Family: Give Them Grace: I am reading this book and I am LOVING it. One thing I have struggled with as a new mom, and I knew I would from day one, is feeling li...

Story Telling

2012-02-09T13:44:00.000-08:00

I was busying myself around the house when I looked over & saw my 2 youngest 'reading' - the boy 'reading' to the girl. She was snuggled up right next to him & I grabbed my phone to snap a picture.

And then I heard those noises in my head.

The 'clicks' ..... like a shutter opening & closing.

What was that?

So familiar.....

And then it hit me like a ton of bricks....

My phone has made life speed up. Much faster than it's supposed to & much faster than I am comfortable with.

When did I settle for a phone snapshot?

When did I settle for grabbing my phone out of my pocket to just send that picture off to the facebook??

When did this happen?

Where in the world is my camera?

My camera. When I look through the lens of my camera (that I

am so unqualified to even use, by the way,) I hear stories being told.

Memories being filed away & I feel so present.

When did I start moving too fast to carry that big ol' thing around?

Well.

That stops today my friend.

No more.

No more of this phone camera picture snapping.

I'm back to the process of story telling.

Story telling is a process.

It forces a barrier between my story & theirs & gives a more clear perspective.

It's slower. It develops.

It spiritual.

Me & camera.

Because I am not thinking about fast forwarding through these years of him reading to her when he can't even read himself. It's not nearly as much fun to watch him read to her when he can actually read! I mean, LOTS of people can do that!

It's those special years when the pictures tell the story & only the one holding the book can tell you that story.

I want to know that story.

Only a few people on the planet get tickets for that show & I am one of them.

more Christmas

2012-01-29T19:45:00.000-08:00

Not sure how this got lost in the draft folder.....but these are some of my favorite pictures from our time in Jackson.....way back when it was still 2011.

Christmas in MS

2011-12-23T19:34:00.000-08:00

It's been a year of loss in our family. My Stepmom died in August & then my Grandmother in September. Both not expected, though I'm learning that death usually catches you off guard.

Even when we are as prepared as we can be, I think it can still take our breath away to have lost a person.

I know there's a lot more brewing in my head & in my heart about these things, but I'm not ready to let it out just yet.

We went to Mississippi to see my dad & to celebrate Ch

ristmas with him & our family there. It was awesome & it was lonely & it's strange learning to adjust with someone missing. Especially for one of my most favorite people in the whole wide world - my dad.

He threw a big party & bought out Toys R Us for the kids & there were screams of "THIS IS JUST WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED!!!"s throughout the house. And I'm pretty sure they meant it.

But more than the gifts, they just love that man. Their Granddaddy. He's good - so so good with them. He truly loves them & loves being with them.....& the

y know that.

And that means a lot to me.

I wish I could get the words out of me that want to come out. But they aren't quite forming real sentences yet. So to avoid the great risk of embarrassment, I'll try again later.

I'm off to catch up on some much needed sleep so that we can be ready for the next

2 days around here.

Behold!

2011-12-13T05:41:00.000-08:00

I love Christmas.

When I was pregnant with my eldest, her due date was January 1st. And my Christmas wish was that she would be with me in front of a fire, hot chocolate in hand, by Christmas day.

And she was.

She continues to show herself as a thoughtful child.

I waited with such anticipation for her.

This new person - the dream in my heart was about to be real.

And all during Advent, pastors & priests everywhere are trying to find new & creative ways to help the people muster up that same anticipation.

I think about it every time I read part of the Christmas story to my kids....I wonder if they will grow bored with the story. Because I certainly have in my life. I heard it so many times that I just quit listening.

And it breaks my heart.

We live in a fast moving culture & if it's not new, well, then it's old & we lose interest.

One of my kids totally gets it.

He actually said today, "Mom! I almost forgot! I thought for a minute how excited I was for the toys on Christmas, but then I thought ooooooh, wait! Christmas is not about the toys. Even if I got no toys, God still gave me the best present."

& it's become very contagious....this excitement for a Savior being born.

So we have been following his lead.

This child is loving the passage from Isaiah where he tells the people what a gift that is coming for them! And I am able to imagine how exciting that must have been.

Everything we could ever hope for is still the same!!!

And He was coming into the world!!!

And He is coming again.

'And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace'

And that is all I need.

I pray that I will be filled with that sufficient gift this Christmas......and nothing more.

Blurry

2011-12-10T17:32:00.000-08:00

For a couple of years we have noticed that my big girl has squinted.

It's been strange, though, because she sees some things clearly far away & close up & she passes all of her vision screenings at her pediatricians office. They came to the conclusion that she may have gotten into the habit of squinting because of her hair being in her eyes.

Her squinting was sort of random & she never struggled in the classroom.

So we didn't do anything. We sort of got used to it & were fine to listen to the advice of our doctor.

Until about a month ago when her teacher suggested we take her to see an eye doctor.

And she has something called amblyopia.

Which is kind of a fun word to say. But it was weird to hear when I was simply expecting a prescription.

And she needs glasses & she'll wear a patch for a little while every day to help her eye start working again.

And she's fine with all of it.

And we are too.

But it's strange to hear any sort of diagnosis from a doctor about your kid.

Something less than perfect.

But why in the world do we expect perfect?

We are blessed with so many resources to fix, or at least duct tape, our problems, that when the natural break down happens, we are shocked.

Maybe it's because there are so many cushions that do break our falls that it's hard to understand when the cushion is not there.

We were never promised perfect, but I sometimes think I am entitled to perfect.

The right guy for a lifetime. The right number of kids - healthy, please. The house in the location that keeps me comfortable. The money to maintain life as I enjoy it...and if I'm honest I would say I do a lot to keep all of that in balance.

And we were never promised all of that.

What's crazy is that the Dr telling us that she had this condition is not what gave her this condition.

It was already there.

We are thankful he told us so we could do something about it. Because it was the not doing something about it that brought us to this place anyway. If we had taken her in sooner & heard someone tell us that her eyes didn't work well, then we would have known what was true....and dealt with that before her eye stopped working.

But we continued to walk around a little blurry.

And it's easy to do that.

To walk around with a condition that can be fixed, but don't because we've gotten comfortable with where we are.

Our eye problem....it's minor compared to other things.

And it's never a great idea to compare those stories because they are all jam packed with opportunity. It's a big part of His story for her....but in the scheme of things....it's not really a real big deal.

Right after she got her glasses & started wearing her adorable little pirate patches, we went to church.

And Louie, our pastor man, spoke about the man born blind.

And it was like Jesus himself was introducing me to a friend.

I smiled & felt such peace.

It was a sweet reminder of a man whose life we never would have recognized....had Jesus had not encountered that man born blind.

He shines in the darkness.

And so I pray & she believes that God will meet us in these times of perceived imperfection. And He can.

And because she wants Him to, I know He will.

Hi.

2011-12-08T19:22:00.000-08:00

It's been a while. Not that anyone's listening....but I feel like it's appropriate to acknowledge that it has, in fact, been a while.

My computer crashed recently. I have lost the majority of my pictures while simultaneously working on photo books for the past 4 years. It's been a challenge.

Except that I have had this blog.

It's been amazing to go back & piece some things together. I'm amazed at the memories captured here. The little things that would have slipped my mind. That did slip my mind. I'm so thankful they have been documented.

Which is why I'm back.

There are lots of reasons for why I've been silent & one of those reasons was addressed at a conference I attended a few months ago. Something was said along the lines of learning to not care what people think. It's a simple concept. One I would have said I embraced....until I realized how hard it really is. It's too easy to let other people serve as your audience. The fear of criticism or offending...or of being approved of or applauded. Both are dangerous camps. Both can be good, but neither can serve as a compass.... & I have had to work through the 'why' of this little online spot where I vent.

But the journey that has been document has been important & it took time & the need of a reminder to see that. So I hope that I'm back because I have honestly missed it.

It's very therapeutic to get thoughts out knowing that someone might read them. There's an accountability & a thoughtfulness that goes into it that is different from a journal.

Anyway.....that's all for now.

Summer 2011

2011-06-19T19:58:00.000-07:00

Not sure how it happened but I have let my/our schedule spin completely out of control. I don't know if I had some margin in my life & thought it wise to fill up every waking moment on the calendar, or what....but it's been a tad crazy around here. I enjoy the lazy mornings where even at lunchtime we realize that we are still in our pajamas, popsicles for breakfast, spur of the moment walks around the neighborhood,....it's what summer is all about.
We haven't had that just yet.
We have instead had the schedule similar to a college football player....two a days is what they call it, I believe. I never played college football myself (brief pause for shock & awe)...but I had friends & know about things like this & it never sounded like fun. So how I managed to arrange this type of daily life for me & 3 small children is really hard to understand.
Don't get me wrong, all of the things we have been doing are actually really fun. I think I have fallen into the spiral of being afraid to 'miss out'. The list of really great & fun things to do is a long one.
And I don't wanna choose.
I want to do it all.

Swim team? Yes.
VBS? Absolutely.
Volunteer at VBS? Why not!?
Dinner with friends? Count me as a yes.
Afternoon swimming with friends? Of Course.
Let's throw in a doctor's appointment, a haircut, a swim lesson & a broken coffee maker situation.
All in the same week? Noooooo problem.
We are having the time of our lives, but the problem comes when we're all crying from complete exhaustion at the end of the day & when we try to recap the super fun memories....all I can say is, "Please stop talking! Lie down...I know you're still in your clothes just go to sleep you'll change in the morning. I'm turning the lights off......"
No. Fun.
So, we're slowing down.

And the other night we sat on the porch & made our list....the things we want to do this summer. And it pleased me so to hear suggestions such as "Movie night with popcorn!!! Let's go on a walk!! Swimming when it's dark outside!!!"
Yes.
Summer....we're a little late but we're coming & we can't wait.

We took a picture of our first thing checked off the list..... Family Slushie Day.
Check!

Calvin

2011-05-08T20:38:00.000-07:00

I've been a bad blogger recently.....and there's a chance I won't be much better for a little while. I'm needing to speak my voice into this little flock under my feet for right now & not so much anywhere else. But this just needed to be shared.
Maybe the most impactful words of this story for me were, "the love from the people seeing me as a human saying, 'good mornin' sir, excuse me, sir'....." broke my heart. Tears started streaming down my face this morning when we heard Calvin's story. The words 'excuse me, sir'....meant that people actually treated him as a human.
I don't even know what to think about that......that anyone feels like they are not human.
It just breaks my heart.
But an incredible story of redemption. True redemption. Love is what the Gospel is all about. Love....and seeing people through God's lenses....all people......

perfume.

2011-04-08T03:05:00.000-07:00

I love the story in the Bible about the woman who poured perfume on Jesus' feet.

I love that she broke all kinds of rules in that moment - in the eyes of the people around her.

The complete abandonment of her reputation - placing herself in a position of complete mockery....all because she knew she was completely loved by Jesus.

When I really understood that, my life was certainly changed....

But when I look at her. It's pretty incredible.

There are lots of incredible parts of that story....

Matthew writes that she poured a very expensive jar of perfume on His feet, John writes that she wiped it on His feet with her hair.

Her hair shouldn't have been down.

She shouldn't have been present at the gathering of men.

And what a waste of perfume?!

The people present ridiculed her.

People who had been touched by Jesus.

Lazarus, for goodness sake, who had just been raised from the dead!

We do that to one another all the time.......I think.

I'm learning that I don't know how to talk without italics?? Technology has done a good job of pointing that out to me.
Now, back to whatever I was talking about....

We judge another person's choices as godly or ungodly based on whatever argument we want to use.....but the truth is that the money belongs to the Creator of the Universe and it has never been about His need for our money.

Or our perfume.

But always out of an act of worship.

We know people who when their son was choosing where he wanted to attend high school he chose to be the diversity within a school that didn't have much diversity.
A very expensive private school.....to be the diversity.

I know of a church whose mission is to be there for people who may have been wounded by the church over the years...to reach a generation of people who have heard from Christians their whole life that they are not loved because of the choices they have made....I am for every penny that needs to build that church, because it breaks my heart that people would ever feel unloved by God.

One of the disciples that day reclining by the table with Jesus stated something that I have certainly said before, I am sure....."Why this waste? This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor."

Yikes.

We make money bigger than God sometimes.......and bigger than people.

Sometimes it takes a lot of money to love on certain types of people - sometimes it's expensive plane trips, or big buildings, or moving into a neighborhood you can't afford, or a school. Sometimes just trying to speak someone else's language costs lots of money.....when trying to reach a generation that is highly technological & media focused...sometimes it means spending money so they can hear.
So they can feel understood.

If it's out of complete love & response to the Father.....then it's perfume.

Perfume that well meaning people will call wasteful......

God called it beautiful.

A friend wrote a post recently about choosing to use money a certain way & I have had this post stored away for a while...waiting for the right day to put it out there.

It seemed right after reading their words.

We are people - individuals - created very specifically for different purposes. My prayer these days is that we would be united in the midst of our different purposes.
That we would spur one another along...not in our callings but in one anothers' callings.

My heart breaks all the time because I see people doing good things....really great things....and yet in the middle of it a judgement bounces off onto all the people around them.....guilt for not living life the way they are.

I have talked to more wounded people who feel ashamed for the "perfume" they are pouring out....because it looks a little different...maybe not as 'glamorous'.

I want so badly to have the heart of Mary......willing to give it all away, just to love Him.

apparently we're getting some order

2011-03-30T17:46:00.000-07:00

We've been bogged down with crazy disorganization. And by the past tense use of "been" I actually mean that we "are" - it's not solved. But it was nice to see the kids join in the fun. That girl ismore of a delegator than a doer & I can respect that. But I love this sign. Glad to have it documented.

"The rule is put it back when you're done playing with it. Read the sign. It says."

Awesome.

the final celebration....

2011-03-21T15:03:00.000-07:00

If you have ever known me well....you know that I like to stretch out the birthday celebrating.
A week.....a month....
and it should go without saying that by the end we are all ready to tear the crown off the head of the center of attention.

But we all have a turn & it's fun.
So this was the day that we wrapped it all up.
With some family & a buddy at the playground.
It was great & he was so happy to be celebrated again.

Please check out the sunglasses over the baseball hat...his doing. I bet i'll have a fast forward picture of this in about 14 years.

There's some peanut buttercream frosting (and while we're there...is it peanutbuttercream? peanutbutter cream? what is gramatically correct??) on that bad boy.....and it was fabulous.
I did give up sweets for Lent...but I made a conscious decision about a week ago to enjoy a cupcake on this particular day.
And it was yummy.

His uncle gave him a Buzz Lightyear belt. He's a fan.

OK.....next birthday coming up is Lee's......
and then it's mine all mine.

Happy Birthday Big man!!!

videos of the bowling

2011-03-20T17:56:00.000-07:00

These videos pretty much just make me laugh.

I love the running start.

And the fact that he really almost kicked that sucker down the alley.....which would have broken a toe & put a damper on the birthday....glad he didn't.

Great great night.

he is four

2011-03-19T09:04:00.000-07:00

The day started just like this.
We woke that boy up with a chipper little song & a camera.

And at first he wasn't thrilled.
Until he remembered that today was the day that he turned 4!!!
And at breakfast he said...."when we bless the food, do you think you can sing happy birthday to me again??"

My boy was born on the 1st day of March madness 4 years ago. Lee & I had just had a lunch date to celebrate all the games....nerdy highlighters & brackets in hand. And a week early he decided to make his appearance in the middle of that night. After the games were over. But i sat in the hospital in very active labor.....bracket in hand.
And so basketball cookies were made.
And on the way to school he casually said, "Mom, will you pray for the day & maybe you could pray for my birthday??"
Precious.

Dinner at the favored spot.

His sister wrapped the present she bought for him & unbeknownst to me, she also wrapped 2 of his favorite books from our playroom :).

He was so excited.....about the books that already belong to him.

Which just makes me really happy.
And the Christmas wrapping paper.
It's just all so awesome.
This whole birthday - full of all kinds of awesome.

We had the baby go to the grandparents & we took the bigs bowling.

Videos to follow.

And then the frogs.

Bill & Sally.

He immediately & assuredly named them.

Bill. and Sally.
And that was that.

This boy.....I had 2 sisters growing up. Lots of drama. Crying....oh the crying...mostly by me. I still don't know how to fully communicate without the tears. And though I assumed that I would be the mother of all boys, marrying a boy with only brothers....I took biology....I knew things....I just assumed.....boys.
But when I met him for the first time....
I just never knew.
Having a son.
No. That's not it.

It is him.
It's this particular boy......oh how I love him.
His 'matter of fact' way about things.
His shrug of the shoulders, his 'sure', his shy way, the fact that I can always bank on the fact that he is behind my left thigh at all times, the way he cares for his sisters, the way he lays his clothes out each night, I love him.
I never knew how much I could ... and I just cannot believe that he is four!
That it was just 4 years ago that we met him......Happy birthday mister.
I'm so thankful for you. Just as you are.
I'm so excited to have front row seats during this time of your life.
I wouldn't miss it for the world.

my messy bug

2011-03-18T05:02:00.000-07:00

four

2011-03-16T19:53:00.001-07:00

I wish I had time right this moment to recount this day of celebrating my big guy's fourth birthday. But we're pooped. Finally got everyone in bed at 10!!!
It was an awesome day/night....and I can't wait to tell you all about it.
Videos included!!

Not me.

2011-03-15T21:55:00.000-07:00

“Never make a principle out of your experience; let God be as original with other people as He is with you” Oswald Chambers

A friend at small group tonight shared this quote with us.

I believe Francis Chan mentioned this particular quote in Crazy Love.
And when she said it, it stung.
Some of my biggest regrets are because of my ability to do just that. And with great intention! When A+B+a cup of sugar = awesome I try to make it 'the way' for everyone else.

Offering unsolicited advice & personal success stories whenever I found it 'helpful.'
Having kid #2 helped to bring on a little humility.
And #3....well, it's just a crap shoot as this point - I think it's clear that I am not possession of the answers :).

Don't get me wrong, I love few things more than I love being their mother & our prayer is that more children will come someday, but I am learning more & more about the baggage I bring with me.

Pride being stripped away.
Andy Stanley spoke recently about the 1st church & how angry Paul got at some of the followers of Jesus - at one of the new churches. They were former Pharisees, actually.

They had brought themselves into the church.

(Funny how we do that)

All their rule following...........it came with them.

They were trying to make brand new followers of Jesus jump through all the hoops.

1st do this & then this & clap your hands 6 times & keep these 313 rules & then you can be a part of our special little club.

It was just so in them to do that.

And so it seems that when I began my journey of learning to shape my life around this faith in God & His resurrected Son I brought myself in with me.
And it is so in me to think that others should be doing it the way that I am.
This part of me rears its ugly head from time to time.

Imperfect beings.

Desperately in need of a Savior.

And still....even knowing that.....trying to get it perfect.
And then setting the mark for others.
Forgetting that none of us hit that mark.
Doesn't matter how close to the mark you get - we still cannot hit it.
At least not by ourselves.

So small group friend :) - I needed that word tonight. I need those words tatooed on my hand Mr Oswald Chambers.

I pray that I will live my daily relationships trusting God to sit right where He belongs rather than me.

The theme for this year I think....

Not me.

Just Him.

spring break

2011-03-13T05:11:00.000-07:00

We'll call it spring break simply because I guess that's what it was officially called, but seriously, it's the 1st week of March & it's freezing cold. But nevertheless, we had 'spring break' & we took the opportunity to just get away from the chores & the 'to do' list & remember what it was like when we just enjoyed being around each other. And we celebrated a little mardi gras in the tamest sense of the celebration.
I don't miss a chance to eat a king cake.
We had a 'sale' - they didn't understand why the $4 & free on the same price tag didn't make sense. So I stormed out & bought nothing!

We got our awesome ice cream fix & made them turn the train on & we danced in the store with no music & we laughed & it was awesome.

We pulled out the hammock & oh my goodness......that alone saved hundreds in therapy.

And sidewalk art - they've gotten really good.

It was special. I'm the luckiest girl in the world. Blessed beyond belief.

the artsy side of my boy

2011-03-13T05:00:00.000-07:00

I just love everything about this.
Especially the part about him painting this for his momma :)

go jackets!

2011-03-12T04:58:00.000-08:00

Caroline - thank you for this awesome uniform you gave that boy for Christmas. He loves it!!!! Wore it out all day today :). And Granddaddy for the football....also a huge hit around here. He is finding a way to escape the princess madness around this house :).

And it looks like he may be recruiting princesses for his team :).

Those Cupcake Kids :)

2011-03-11T09:30:00.000-08:00

Almost a year ago, I think it was Easter weekend, some kids got together & with the help of some very generous people were able to bring attention to a place where God's precious children were not being cared for properly. And the people responsible for caring for them simply needed some help.

And then again.....more friends spread out over Atlanta, surrounding neighborhoods & even as far as South Carolina....children spent allowances to buy supplies, helped their parents bake some cupcakes, made some great signs & spent their days being a voice for these kids very far away that didn't really have a voice.

There's a big cupcake kids sale coming up & you can be a part of it from wherever you are. In fact, there are a few states(and only just a few) not representing just yet so feel free to pass this along to all of the friends you know all over the world!

Here's what I know. My kids' eyes were opened to something & I couldn't have done that for them. They were invited to be a part. They said yes. And their prayers are lifted up almost daily for the kids spoken for on those days. Their hearts were pricked a little bit in the compassion department .... all because of some cupcakes.

So go check it out & make plans to be a cupcake kid!

teeth

2011-03-10T19:19:00.000-08:00

My girl. The big one. Has lost 8 teeth.
EIGHT!
This last one was a doozy.
It was almost growing on top of another tooth & the dentist made it clear that it HAD to come out.
Quickly.
But it wasn't even wiggly.
It would not wiggle.
Long story about how we got it to come loose & I'll spare you the gorey details & they were gorey & accidental.
That tooth finally came loose. REALLY loose. Anyone who saw it can affirm. But it would not come out.
This is her attempting to bite into an apple to get it out.
Days & days went by. I couldn't believe it! It would easily get to a 90 degree angle. And still - no dice.

And then we finally finalllllllly got it out. And would you look at that thing? Is that root unusually long? I think so & this was her eighth tooth.....the other seven were not this long.
Anyway, 8 teeth missing.
4 grown in & no room for the other 4.
I'm betting we'll be seeing an orthodontist at some point in the near future.

this blog world

2011-03-02T03:38:00.000-08:00

Blogging has been interesting for me in the last several months.
I have had to table a lot of the things I have wanted to say. They are stored away & maybe they will make an appearance at some point.
We'll see.
I posted recently about a quote by Amy Carmichael.
I started to notice that often times the things that I wrote about were words defending myself or my point. I am not talking about the times that I had a genuine thought to share, but the ugly part of me that wanted to respond to someone or defend myself....using this as a platform.
And I am definitely a person who writes primarily for journaling - remembering the details of our days, getting out of my head what needs to be untangled in words, starting a conversation, & sharing the story with family who don't live near us....
And so I know that my audience is not large.
Never was shooting for the large.
But I am learning that even if the ears that hear are the pair belonging to one person who is influenced by what I say.....then I better carefully consider what I say.

A friend a little over a year ago described this blog community as the modern-day letters from Paul for her. She received such encouragement through this crazy form of technology.
And I totally agree with her.
I have been encouraged over & over again.
I have learned that I can make curtains for my windows with my own two hands.
I have found & tried countless recipes.
I have wondered if I should try to be gluten free.
I have laughed & cried.
And I have made friends.
And all mostly from people I have never, and will not ever meet.
But these blogs can also become a place to post passive aggressive arguments that can be hurtful.
And a place to lift ourselves much higher than we belong.
Another good friend reminded me before I had entered this crazy blog world to always remember that the picture you are looking at is painted by the author.....you get to see what they want you to see. I forget to place these views through a grid because the picture seems so pretty.
I am reminded that all is not as it seems.
And how quickly one can fall into the seductive side of the blog world can become a popularity contest.
A really really weird popularity contest.

So, I don't want to hold my heart back in fear of being disagreed with.
And I don't want to write for the approval of others either.
Being genuine on the internet is tough......
It's 2 dimensional.
And no doubt it is a relational tool. A powerful tool.
But it can never take the place of relationship.

And my identity must rest securely in One relationship .... & not one other.

springs

2011-02-28T21:06:00.000-08:00

We love this trampoline.
I had one growing up, but it didn't have the fancy net or pads to cover the springs.
In fact I remember the day we said goodbye to the trampoline. I was a teenager & my teenage cousin jumped up ...... & then straight through the trampoline to the ground.
And that was that.
When my dad inquired about the safeness of this trampoline just before we gave it to the kids I politely asked if he had all of a sudden become concerned with the safety of trampolines. :)
We laughed.
A different day for certain.
I'm glad we had that thing growing up.
So much fun.
And I'll say that the net & the pads are a nice addition.

There is just no way to not have a good time on a trampoline - I mean, you can almost hear them laughing through these pictures....I can.

And springtime....thank you for giving us little whispers of hope that you really are just around the corner. Days like today are just amazing

journal entry

2011-02-28T04:27:00.000-08:00

This is me literally journaling outloud. Sorry.

I will never forget the day I realized that all the rules & the getting better & doing better was never what God was looking for in me.
I remember things coming into focus & understanding for the very first time that God had taken care of that & loved me so much that He carried that burden for me.
A breath.
Tears.
Total relief.
And I wanted to tell everyone!
Because it's a-mazing news!
I still don't understand why it's so controversial, but I know full well that it is.
I think we are the problem.
I think Christians get it wrong.
I think people get it wrong.
We forget about the moment we were relieved of that enormous burden. That moment we were picked up, dusted off & told that we were loved - all the time, no matter what.

Grace.

And the danger of forgetting that moment is that we tend to put that burden on others after a while.
Why do we do that?
Why do we like to make it hard for people to live under this law of love?
We get so afraid of other people's 'dirt' getting on us.....do we start to believe we are so clean?
Because even if we are.....we didn't make ourselves clean.

I have heard the term a lot lately of being 'insider focused' - when I hear it I think about middle school & the natural hierarchy that happens with the cool kids table & the smart kids table & all the tables.
People trying to find their spot to fit in & whatever group they 'fit' into - we tend to make it a little uncomfortable for someone else to be a part.
What is that?
We make judgements based on clothes, hair, church affiliation, family, books people choose to read....we label people.
And in a way we put ourselves in the seat that only God belongs in.
He sits there.
I tell my 6 year old almost daily, "Quit trying to be his mother. Be his sister"
Love him.
Encourage him.
Come to me if you are worried about him.
Their relationship will suck forever if she keeps trying to be his mother.
She was made to be his sister.

Let God be God.
And when it comes to His creation.
When it comes to the people He made on purpose.
I forget daily to recognize that.
I mean, it's easy to hold that 2 year old in my arms & look into her eyes & tell her that she was made on purpose & with a purpose & pray that the Lord would show us what that plan is....
That's easy.
I know her.
I already love her.
But what about that other person. The one I don't know or more likely the one I just don't really get along with. Do I believe the same is true about them that I believe is true about my kids?

He loves us wildly & He has a lovely story - one that does not require that we read certain books or go to a certain church or hang with certain people or blah blah blah.....
We are no different than the pharisees making rule after rule after rule.
These are our rules.
And I show my lack of faith every time my chest tightens in fear that God is not big enough to love them.
I pray that I will not forget that moment when I "got it" because if I refuse to forget.....I will never ever be ungrateful or selfish with the endless love He has already given.

following directions

2011-02-25T04:19:00.000-08:00

Humor me with all the shots I got from the garden the other day.
This one makes me laugh.
I asked the kids to put their arms around each other.....

And this is what I got.
:) How adorable is she?

There you go.
Learning.....always learning.

really. way too fast.

2011-02-23T19:11:00.000-08:00

These days are numbered.
I am well aware.
There is very little time left for me to have all 3 of these little suckers for mornings like this one.
Free to be together & laugh & do what we will.
Three of my very favorite people.
And I have prayed that they would be the very best of friends for one another.
I have prayed it for a long long time.
As long as I've known them. :)
And wouldn't you know that it's the boy who has begun to tell each of us.....
"You're my best friend"

I don't want to forget these moments.
Ever ever ever.

my boy & his buddy

2011-02-17T03:57:00.000-08:00

What do you think they're talking about?

man down!

2011-02-16T04:55:00.000-08:00

Our washing machine is broken.
If you have seen my boy at all in the last week you will understand why he has been sporting the same pair of camouflage pants every single day. I dropped the rest of his pants to be laundered last week & kept trying to pick them up after closing time. Which is not an efficient use of time. So we washed them in Woolite in the sink & dried them, along with a little girl's uniform. We're doing what we gotta do.
And as my dad would say, "I've heard sadder stories"
I believe it's fixable - even without a repairman, but maybe I'm being a little optimistic. Or cocky.
But the internet has saved us before in the appliance fixing department & I'm counting on it pulling us through this go 'round.
It's the time we can't seem to find. We have been so over scheduled lately that to find an evening to set aside for this seems impossible....and not what we really want to do when there's already limited time.
So, we spent this morning at the laundromat.
I was actually looking forward to the experience. The kids were great & helpful & all in all we had a good time.

I would have never planned an outing to the laundromat had we not needed it. But it was a little adventure for us :).
And though we had a great time......I'm not selling the washer & dryer.
It's time to get that bad boy up & running.

heart day

2011-02-15T06:33:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day was really very sweet.
The kids sat down to a candle lit dinner with the votive she made at school thanks to a super crafty mom - I was not that mom.

I was the mom who provided the chicken nuggets & the grapes. And then proceed to eat most of the chicken nuggets & the grapes.

We gave the kids their valentines.
They ate some candy & went to bed.
Then Lee & I ordered out......and it was just perfect.
And, in fact, Lee may have made a romantic lover of Valentine's day out of me yet.

He cheated & got me a gift. He's getting the house cleaned. And I. am. thrilled.

Absolutely over the moon about it!

Didn't see it coming but if I could've asked for something very specific .... it would have been this exact thing.

And reese's peanut butter cups.

And he covered that, too.

He's pretty awesome.

the valentines

2011-02-14T06:11:00.000-08:00

We spent our Sunday afternoon doing this....and it was a blast! I love doing arts & crafts.....but I have to admit that there is something in me that has to hold back the control freak that wants certain colors to be together & things to be placed in certain places, etc.....
And I've gotten much better.
In fact I have been blown away with the creativity that comes out of them - and the skill that girl has - she cut those letters out FREE HAND!
Impressive.

And the boy tore & cut those pieces of paper & glued them on the heart (i did draw the heart) all by himself.
So I don't totally hate Valentine's.......

2011-02-13T05:34:00.000-08:00

As we get ourselves into the Valentine's Day spirit of things.....I thought we would play with the blog a little bit. It has been a while & as it usually happens if I don't check up on things for a week or two I find that technology has simply passed. me. by.
Blogger has definitely upgraded some stuff & I have enjoyed my Saturday night of figurin' it all out.
I have never been a huge fan of Valentine's day & I recently read a friend's facebook status read, "if your woman says she doesn't like Valentine's Day it probably means you're not doing it right..."
Funny.
But I don't think that's it in my case.
See, I love the candy, I love making valentine's, I love hearts all over the place, I love the candy, I love my man, I love Reese's peanut butter hearts & if they only made them in dark chocolate, I love gushy romantic love, and the candy...have I mentioned the love of the candy?
I do not like true love being used as a marketing tool.
And I do not like feeling like you have to cram all this romantic whatever into a night when you CANNOT get a reservation anywhere & if you DO you feel forced to try their 'prix fixe menus.' A babysitter is next to impossible to find. I do not like that flowers that will cost $12 on February 15th cost $30 on Valentine's Day and most of all I do not like wondering if the only reason that my man brought flowers home & took me to dinner was because he felt like he should.
So.
Am I the grinch who stole Valentine's?
Maybe I am.
Sue me.
But just know that while I'm at home eating take out from wherever we choose in the comfort of our own home, because I may not be a fan of Valentine's but I don't see that me cooking is a grand idea either, we will have pocketed the $125 that we would have otherwise spent in going along with the whole shabang.
And man I feel like a bucket of cold water....especially with the hearts all over the blog and everything.
But like I said.......I love the hearts.
And trust me on the candy thing...a big ol shoutout to the sweettart gummy hearts, especially from the Rite Aid where they are on sale.
5 pounds later.
Here I am....obviously a little bitter.
I'll go deal with that now.
But thanks for sticking around for all the drama.

center stage

2011-02-11T17:06:00.000-08:00

Seriously.
What does one do about that right there??

It was somewhat of a crazy morning - trying to cram a few errands in on a morning when all 3 needed to be at the dentist office by 9:45.

That little girl finished her breakfast, I put her clothes on her & then she brought me her "princess dress" & declared, "I want to be a princess now."

Whatever.
Who cares.

I don't care if she wants to prance around in that thing for the next year or so because this will come to an end.
You just can't do things like this forever & it be called 'adorable'....I mean, people judge me when I do it.
But just to keep her humble she wore her fuzzy slippers because I could not for the life of me find her shoes.
Another thing you can't get away with when you're in your, say, 30s.

She owned that place.
And probably because everyone in there had her 'spin around, you cute thing' - & she is nothing if not an entertainer.
For me as well, obviously.
I mean, I was packing the camera.
And I'm glad I did......because that right there sums her up.

Actually, what would have really summed her up would have been to capture her full on temper tantrum out by the elevator just 30 seconds after we left center stage....aka the dentist office.
She's something, y'all.
And I am loving every minute of her drama filled toddlerhood.

therapy

2011-02-09T05:11:00.000-08:00

Back in the days of my early 20s when I had this amazing career, can I call it that? It never felt that way but it was definitely more than a job. I loved it. I had this totally amazing opportunity to work along side my very best friend at Johns Hopkins Children's Center with teenagers - she worked with the school aged kids. JHCC does the best thing, in my opinion, by separating the hospital floors by age rather than diagnosis. There were certain diagnoses that didn't work that way for their own health's sake. But for the most part they allowed kids/teens to not be defined by an illness.
Now, I happen to adore the teenage years. I love the honesty & the pure hard-core drama & emotion that comes with it. I love chipping away at a wall of insecurity or fear & I just think it's a fun age of opportunity. When I would walk into a room of a patient I almost always brought play dough or clay with me. If nothing else it relaxed me & took my attention off the fact that this kid really didn't want me in there.
But usually they would take some too & once we were both occupied, the conversation tended to open up pretty quick.

We kept play dough around our house until I felt like I was just smearing money into my carpet/rug/whatever.
And what is the big deal about snapping that lid shut? Playdough that lives in an open air container becomes a borderline weapon & I am certain that I have sliced my skin with it.

But this past weekend, at an absolutely amazing retreat, a precious lady had me sit with play dough & her assignment for me was to sculpt a gift that God wanted to give to me. And it was one of the most spiritual experiences for me.
I lean towards the creative side of things & so I naturally began to think about what I wanted to make. And stopped.
I just rolled it around in my hands.
And I prayed.
And I began to make something.
Something beautiful.
And He whispers to my heart from time to time when I dare to sit & listen. And He was changing my sculpture. And I pushed back. I was already in process. I had my colors picked out. I was almost finished.
But I remembered that this was His gift to me. Not my gift to myself.
And so what He had me make visible was Him changing my heart & holding me in His big mighty hand.

It was a sweet thing to hold that sculpture in my hand.

And then to show it to my kids.
& then the baby destroyed it.
Oh well.
:)

We bought some play dough today & I had the kids sculpt a gift that God has given them that they are thankful for.
I played too .....

This is our family.....so far.
the kids were very concerned about which one was which - which just makes me laugh.
It's play dough!
And I say that.....but I definitely am the green one.

It's my favorite color.

The boy really really tried to explain this to me & I desperately wanted to know because I believe it is absolutely beautiful. But it turns out that he's not so sure as to what it is either. Nevertheless......there it is.

And my big girl. This right here is her love. I hope she never lets go of this special thing. Lucy is a part of our family & has made the wall of pictures. We do love her & hold our breath every time she has to head to the washing machine.
Scary times.

These are the hearts we made.....in the shape of a heart :)
We're crazy y'all.

Thank you sweet Andrea. And thank you Jenni. It was amazing. He is doing amazing things in this heart He has given me. And I know because He told me so.

In His Word. On the Cross. And with play dough.

misunderstood

2011-02-08T06:47:00.000-08:00

IF...
the praise of man elates me and his blame depresses me; if I cannot rest under misunderstanding without defending myself; if I love to be loved more than to love, to be served more than to serve, then I know nothing of Calvary love.
Amy Carmichael

I had the opportunity to do a short study on Amy Carmichael a few years ago & I learned of these "If.." poems, statements, whatever you call them.

I heard a friend say recently that she can only read one of these a day.

I agree.

They can be very convicting & thought provoking. And she is one who went before us. Who blazed the trail that God invited her to & she was a mommy to many children in harms way in India.

And though I do not believe her specific purposes in life are the same as mine - I want to gather all I can from what she knows. She was one who walked hand & hand with the Father & when someone does that it seems only wise to tune in.

This quote takes me & throws me to the ground on a daily basis.
Being misunderstood is so very difficult for me.

When I feel that I am misunderstood I am always tempted to pick up the phone or shoot an email or whatever to simply explain myself. To make myself 'right' in their eyes.

And there are times when explanation & apologies need to be made & then there are times when sitting in the simple defense of the Gospel is all we are asked to do.

I pray daily to seek to understand. My baby's name means understanding & it has become a prayer for myself.

That one seems easier than to simply rest in the light of being misunderstood.
Understanding is not so easy, as it actually makes you step out of what you stand firmly on & see things from another point of view. Or in terms of the Gospel, it is often times letting go of lots of things that culture says "makes sense" & seek to understand outside of a comfort zone.

Both understanding & being understood require seeing people & circumstance through a focus that we will not understand clearly on this side of Heaven.

Accepting & embracing the truth that there is a God in Heaven that loves you unconditionally all the time & that is ultimately what matters.

I should be living this life for an audience of One.
I should find comfort solely in His attitude and opinion of me & my actions.
And yet I am constantly overwhelmed with how 'undone' I can be in the state of misundersanding.

flash

2011-02-06T18:34:00.000-08:00

My girl got a fischer price camera last year for Christmas & loved it. She took it everywhere & I honestly felt like the paparazzi was following us around.

But the pictures were terrible.

I mean, not a big deal. She was 5 & it was fine.

But last Christmas the love of my life gave me a camera.

A rockin big girl camera that I still don't completely know how to use. But I love it & for a while it went almost everywhere with me. She noticed.

And for Christmas this year she asked for a "real" camera.

And Santa gave a thumbs up. He brought her a nice used digital camera.

She has it with her often & has recently learned how the video feature works, which I consider a total invasion of privacy.....but I'll go with it. Memories in the making.

We looked outside the other day & she was lying on her back snapping pictures of the trees & the sky.

Seeing the world through her eyes is super fun. And I plan to show some of the awesome shots to you real soon. Because there's a real chance that you are featured in these shots as that flash is burning it up in the car on a daily basis.

Or maybe we'll help her start a blog.

Or not.

the RED card

2011-02-02T05:55:00.000-08:00

I do enjoy a starbucks from time to time.

It's a ta-reat. For certain.

And I'm not one who loves to justify my ways that may need changing by adding a benefit to the end of it.

What I'm about to say does not justify the fact that I used to have a full on addiction to the coffee. And my additcion may or may not have included the word "latte" which gets purty 'spensive. But if I am going to enjoy a cup o joe & I really do just lean towards a plain ol cup o black coffee these days....but still...if I am going to partake, it might as well help others in the process.

Especially if that option is available.

The RED card from Starbucks donates 5 cents towards the Global Fund to help fight AIDS every time you use it - and isn's it lovely to look at? And did you know that you can register your card online & with each purchase you get a point & the points add up to free drinks. And now I can know that each time I earn a point I am also helping a big organization do big things for people who simply can't do it alone.

No one's paying me a dime to say any of this.

I just think....why the heck not?

dirty words

2011-02-01T05:49:00.000-08:00

Well. I don't exactly know how to say this & to be perfectly honest I am not totally sure why I am sharing this....except that I know it's a nugget of information I will want to remember later on down the road.

My baby is a cusser.

I don't understand it.

We are not cussers - in fact the words that come out of her mouth make me cringe - I don't hear these words on a regular basis. Ever since I left college I would say that this type of language has not been something I am around very often.

And yet....my 2 year old drops the F bomb.

Whenever we are driving down the road & we see a firetruck.....there it is.

Or just a truck.

Or if she wants a fork at dinner.

Or when she wants me to help her put her shirt on - we get another choice word.

Even when we pass church she says it - and I really do not get that one.

It's embarrassing.

And innocent, I know, but still.

So....... we are dramatically phonetic around here.

Ta-ruck. Ta-ruck.

Fork is still a hard one. But we are all over it.

I don't notice her leaving certain letters out of other words, but that's probably because any other word that her 2 year old self can't quite spit out correctly is not grabbing my attention quite as much as these do.

So if you see us out & you hear her profanity yelled excitedly as the firetrucks drive past....don't judge. Know that we are as bothered as you are about thie situation.

And we are wide open for suggestions.

AG

2011-01-31T07:55:00.000-08:00

Lee & I were ready to have a 'regular' babysitter. But we wanted someone who would love our family. Someone who would want to linger. Someone who would love my kids, not just tolerate them.

And we prayed for someone.

And a random resume came to my inbox as they so often do. I had never called one of those people before but this girl was a Young Life leader & I do love a Young Life leader.

And we gave it shot.

It was a match made in Heaven.

AG loved us & we loved her.

She walked into our house, we made introductions & she made it clear that she wasn't a fan of stickers & corrected my big girl when she didn't address me with a "yes, Ma'am," and she made up amazing stories to tell them & played hide & seek....& she loved them so well.

And she was a part of us. The person who could just come over & spend the day. The person who let you know that absolutely you can wear those red shoes with the black dress.

She was my friend & Lee's friend & a fun sister type of person to my kids.

And she moved.

And we miss her.

And I am feeling a little like Shel Silverstein with all of my short little choppy sentences.

But she comes back & visits & today we had her for the afternoon & she saved the day by tucking the babes in bed for us tonight.

She's our super special friend & she made our day today.

Come back AG!

being the body

2011-01-28T14:23:00.001-08:00

I love David Eldridge & the message he delivers about living out the plans that God has for each of us. Most of his sermons point back to this idea, but the "wine & wineskins" series really helped me, as did some friends who could tell me the truth about what they saw in me that God had planted there.

It's a grace that God gives - the way He made each of us & the passions He placed in each heart.

I am constantly amazed as I watch people responding to the overwhelming love from our Heavenly Father. When it really comes into focus. That we cannot pay Him back. We cannot do anything to earn our way.
Not people who are emotionallay manipulated into something.
Not guilted into caring for something.
Not following the crowd.
But the genuine reponse to Him.

Just loving Him back.

Because almost everyone I know is passionate about something.

-some have lost loved ones to diseases - and if everyone in the world would give a little maybe we could erradicate that particular disease.

-some are passionate about getting people off the street & if we would all put our time & resources together we could help people get jobs & earning a living with dignity.

-for many, myself included, it's the orphan crisis in this world - children w/o families for so many different reasons & if we would all stand up & welcome someone into our home or equip those childrens' families with the resources they need we could "fix" it

-and for some it is walking with the elderly - and if we would all give of our time & reach out we could be a friend & hear the stories of a generation that in some cases is being left behind.

-recognizing the need for high school students to understand clearly how valuable they are in the eyes of God when they are faced with everything around them telling them they're not. And if we would each take some time & be intentional to know these kids then they would see their value & know that they are loved by the God of the universe.

And it's not solely about linking arms with the people who agree with our heartbeat & leaving the others behind - I believe it's about encouraging one another in these works.

And it's not about fixing the problem - because if we could fix it then we would have no need for a Savior.
And it can't be out of guilted obligation because then we're no better than the pharisee believing that we can be good enough to earn His approval.
I believe it's simply about responding to Him, to His love, and watching the loving face of God paint His picture of redemption through His people.

And here's the guarantee - when you respond to the purpose He has for your life it will mean saying no to many other really great things.

It is so good to share our passions. And it is so good to encourage one another.
But it would be against God's beautiful design to encourage someone to walk a path that God never laid out for them to begin with.

I love seeing people live out those purposes. I am so energized when I see people moving forward in their call.
Not trying to make it the call for everyone else.
But embracing their God-given journey, walking with others placed in the path beside them & shouting encouraging words towards those placed along other paths.

It's being the body of Christ.

wink

2011-01-28T07:29:00.000-08:00

how often to you catch a guy mid-wink?

I just like the pic.....he'll be so pumped that I shared it with you. :)

Honey, if you're reading....I love you ;)

mercy

2011-01-27T05:23:00.000-08:00

Lee & I were out together recently. I have no idea where we were, but we were sans kiddos, which is rare these days and anyway, he asked me a question.

Something along the lines of - "what's a word that you hope people use to describe you?"

Hmmm.

He's a good question-asker that husband o mine.

And my answer left me feeling pretty convicted. Like a punch in the stomach.

Compassionate.

That's the answer.

The truth is that I am so incredibly aware that I am willing to give compassion to those whom I choose to give compassion to. Children without families, people without food, families who have lost a child, a friend in need, the friend of a friend whom I happen to have nuggets of information to make it personal enough for me to be truly compassionate, people without, I will stand up & shout from the box of 'social justice'....you get the picture. I'm just being honest. The people that are 'easy' to be compassionate for.
But the people who disagree with me.
The people who don't see the world through my eyes.
The people who don't pull the weight I think they should.
People who misrepresent the Gospel.
People who are not generous to help others.
People who I may stamp as "selfish"
Friends who have treated me unfairly.
People who have talked behind my back.
Just simply the people I choose to not have compassion for.

And I was reading along in Mark. "...and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you..."

I'm not comfortable with that.
What measure do I use?
Because any measure I use is enough to convict me.
And I thought of Jesus hanging on the cross - betrayed. beaten. dying.

and innocent.

And He asked the Father to forgive them.

What measure is that?

It's one that understands the big picture.
How can I place myself so prominently central in a story that is not about me?
Or even about the things I see as important.
If I truly lived my life as one who "got it" - compassion would come easy.
And the great God in all His grace & mercy....is gently showing me this yucky part of myself & I will let the Great Physician do His work.

What's your word?

the dynamic duo

2011-01-26T02:27:00.000-08:00

I love these 2.

She's totally a mother hen & he's totally getting tired of it.

But then we have moments like this.

I'm thankful they have one another.

I pray each night that they will be the best of friends - that they will spur one another along in their walk with the Lord. That they will encourage one another to do the right thing. That they will be for each other.

I remember the night he was born. We didn't know there was a big old boy growing & when we learned that indeed he was....Lee said he was thankful to break up the drama :).

He's the boy that though forced to wear the tu-tu in the in-home dance recital prefers to simply announce the dances. In a cowboy hat. I didn't grow up with boys & I'm loving this.

I'm loving the brother sister dynamic.

I'm loving their dynamic.

I never could have imagined it would be this amazing. Being their mother.

But God always did.

why not Ethiopia?

2011-01-23T20:07:00.000-08:00

I grabbed this from Emily.

more snow

2011-01-20T16:20:00.000-08:00

Just because i think she's adorable...and it won't be too long before she will actually fit into those gloves......why is time flying by so fast?

snowjam pics

2011-01-19T18:52:00.000-08:00

I was so excited about the snow coming.
I actually don't really like snow.
Unless I'm skiing & even then I prefer it to be super sunny.
And powdery.

And in Colorado.
I'm a little high maintenance when it comes to things of the weather.
And it's not really that I don't like the snow - I just prefer to not be in it.
I'd rather be inside.

By a fire.
With a cup of hot cocoa in my hands.
With whipped cream on top.
Not marshmallows.
And I like to snuggle under blankets with my man & my babies & watch movies.
With the hot chocolate & some popcorn would be nice.

Anyway....moving along.
I was excited for the kids to see the snow & I even wanted them to stay up to see it begin to cover the ground, but they were crying to be put in the beds.....
So as soon as we all woke up I had them gather the snow for the snowcream that, you know, we had for breakfast.
Notice the PJs and lack of wintery clothes...
WE. LIVE. IN. THE. SOUTH. FOR. A. REASON.
I get why we don't have the snow plows.
It's the same reason I have not invested in big fluffy down coats.
For any of us.

The stuff is good....sort of.....the idea of snowcream is better than the actual snowcream.
Or maybe I need to play with the recipe.
The chocolate syrup was a plus - it always is, right?

These are the things I do well in the snow.
I do the inside stuff well.
And I'm comfortable with that part of me.

More to come. I'm on a strict bedtime these days.

Gotta run.

Dube Bute

2011-01-11T07:49:00.000-08:00

Emily has been kind to talk me through a few things over this past year+ & though I am watching her life from afar, like so many others, I am amazed with the passion that the Lord has placed on their family's heart. They brought home Abe to be their son & then Eyasu.....& they have recently begun a project to help improve the conditions of the village where Eyasu lived for the first 2 years of his life. His family & community will be loved & changed by the outstretched arm of the Body of Christ.
AND to top it all off....the raffle is super awesome & you are going to want to be a part of it ANYWAY.
So....GO HERE & learn all about it.

On a totally unrelated note.....I have been without the computer....borrowing the husband's right now....hoping to get mine back soon with pictures all in tact ready to post some fun memories of these past few months. I have missed this bloggy thing & hope to see you real soon :).

birthday pictures

2010-12-23T22:13:00.000-08:00

FINALLY!

Here are some pictures of the girl on her big day turned into week.

It was a blast.

I hope she knows how thankful we are for her.

and please, how adorable is her "6" shirt????? Love it Ashleigh!! Thank you!

This cake was left at BR by some friends of ours....you'll notice that we took the spoons to it right then. It was a great night.

red light means go??

2010-12-20T20:55:00.000-08:00

The photo uploader is still missing.....and I have some GREAT pictures to post!!!!
Grrrrrrrr.
I am painted almost all over & you have not been invited in or near my house for good reason -because it is a disaster.
Priority #1 is to finish painting.
So I have literally been stepping over laundry & praying that breakfast would magically appear at my house...and you know what?
It did.
Big shout out to Kimberly. You really have no idea the gift that rests in that pumpkin bread. The kids were giong to have leftover lasagna tomorrow for breakfast.
So. Many thanks. From all of us.

I want to be finished with painting so that I can enjoy completely these next few days before Christmas. We still have lots to cram in! I'm tempted to move Christmas to the 26th just because I NEED AN EXTRA DAY!!!!
There's baking that needs to be done & a playroom that should be in good order for the big day & boxes that should have been shipped last week but alas....they haven't. And friends I desperately want to just sit & sip a cup of coffee with.....
Argh.

But as I paint I do have the joy of reading the Words of Scripture over & over again. And when I do this I am often amazed at what speaks to my heart.
Mary, for instance, has been on my heart a lot.
I was pregnant during a December & I clearly remember gasping at the thought of riding a donkey. I found that my honda accord sat waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too low for someone as pregnant as I was & taking cues from all around me I assumed I needed an SUV for this 7 or 8 pound person that would be riding with me soon.
Turns out that all I really needed were diapers, a pack n play was sufficient, like 4 onesies, wipes, bottles, a blanket & some sleep.
I didn't really need the SUV.
But I digress.....

I think about the law of the day when Mary was born.
An unwed woman carrying a child??
I am betting that from the outside it looked very "unwise" for Jospeh to stay with her.
I wonder what her parents said.
I wonder what his parents said.
I wonder about the Son of God being born in a way that may have caused conflict....even scandal.
I wonder about this idea that God blesses with comfort & wealth & health, & then I see the Savior of the world born in a barn.

I heard a preacher speak the other day while I was painting.
Matt Chandler (thanks Jill :) ). He said something along the lines of how sometimes we can begin to think of our Bibles as God. We cling so tightly to the principles that we lose sight of the relationship.

Jesus' birth paints a sweet picture of that.
According to the law & sound principle - none of this made much sense.

I was driving down the road the other day & I pulled up to an intersection where my car & I frequently travel. And the light was red.
But there was a crossing guard waving me forward.

The crossing guard trumps the red light.
You should always always stop at red lights. It's the law. It keeps us & others safe.
Unless a policeman steps in with information that you don't have access to & tells you to drive right through it.

I am not a person who likes being indebted to people.
I have a hard time receiving help because of it.
I wonder 'are there strings attached?' & 'what will be expected of me if I say yes?'
So, I probably say 'no' more often than 'yes'.
Salvation was a tough one for me to grasp because of the feeling that I was indebted thing.
I lived my life under the idea that I must perform better, serve better,
do it all a little. bit. better.
Trying to get it right all the time is exhausting.
Trying to be understood all the time brings me to the point of crazy.
Understanding that God didn't give me a set of rules to be locked in a prison with. He offered the opportunity for me to know Him.
And to rest in the truth that He already knew me.......and He liked me.

He's the God who said to the men who desperately wanted to please God by observing His laws ....that healing a man on the sabbath was a good thing.
That being with Him was the "why" of it all anyway.
That's what He always wanted.
To be with us.

Emmanuel - God with us.

Merry Christmas.

six years.

2010-12-18T01:23:00.000-08:00

She turns 6 today.

How did that happen??

I feel like recently I have cradled each of them as if they were a little bit smaller & I have told them the story of the day I met them.

Precious days for me.

These people that get to begin their lives in my home. They did nothing to deserve being there and I must remember that I did nothing as well.

The whole thing is just a great big miracle. With the fingerprints of God's grace all over it.

When I think of all the reasons to tell them about why I think they are so incredibly awesome I am blown away by all that makes them who they are.

That I am such a tiny part of that.

They are reflections of their Heavenly Father. I pray that they will grow to reflect Him more & more.

On this day, my big girl, I want you to know how amazing I think you are.

How your smile can change the hearts of everyone you come around. That even on those days when I hear the stories of you being left out of something with friends...that you never see it that way.

You assume the best in people.

I love that about you.

I love how you like to tell us how to do things. You have a helpful spirit within you. A little bossy at times, but mostly just super duper helpful.

You have an enthusiasm that I want.

You desire to please & I pray that you will always rest in the fact that you are dearly loved.

You teach us each day.

And I am so very grateful that I get to be your mom.

You didn't have to be born of my body for me to love you. You don't have to do anything for me to love you. There's nothing you could ever do to make me stop loving you.

Chances are good that we are in for some disagreement in our future - and even in that - I will love you & be for you - knowing & believing that God has big plans for your life.

Plans that are bigger than my brain.

And that's good.

That is very very good.

Happy birthday big girl.

I will locate the photo uploader & post pictures from the day later on....

good night

You totally knock my socks off.

ornaments

2010-12-16T21:32:00.000-08:00

Last year I let painting take the best of me & I feel like I "missed" Christmas a little bit.
I definitely have been painting more than I should lately, but our nice little break is just around the corner. However, I'm not missing the fun of Christmas this year. We are baking & making ornaments & drinking hot chocolate for breakfast & it's been great!!
When we pulled out the ornaments this year I was surprised at the emotion around some of them. My mind would flash back to the ones they made. Remembering the time & place. And that their hands were smaller....and how are they getting so big so fast??
And this seemed to be the 1st year that at least the big girl "got it."
So.....this is one of the ornaments we have made this year. The ball. I think she did a great job with it!!! I would cover my tree with them if Icould. But I will practice self control & save room for the years to come.

Or we will just have 2 trees.

there she is

2010-12-15T13:25:00.000-08:00

Getting so big. With a personality that she barely carry all by herself. She's a mess. And we're all pretty much in love with her.
She's a girl who knows what she wants & she's a big communicator because of it. It's funny the things I thought were absolutely true about her just a few months ago I am seeing differently. She's slowly showing us who she is.
I can't imagine life without this baby who jumps up & down when I walk into her room to get her.
Who claps & cheers for her daddy after he "prays for the day" in the car.
Who will often exit a room with a turn of her head & a simple "kisses!" as she blows one away.
Amazing little girl.
How come I get to witness this time of her life??
A total priviledge.

too much space

2010-12-14T21:06:00.001-08:00

Lee & I took a stroll down memory lane last night & laughed until we almost cried reliving this moment.
And after we got some control over ourselves I started reading through old posts I had written.
I am so glad for the memories recorded here. The funny things these kids have said along the way. And the way they said it.
It has all passed & I would have forgotten without this sweet reminder.
And I am actually sad that I haven't kept better records lately.
The kids are still funny. And a lot is going on......
A lot of stretching & straining within my own life, which I am thankful for & even that is weird to say.
It amazed me how aware I became of my words on this blog - not knowing who was reading them & if it mattered to me.
So I took a break.
An unplanned break.
And though it has been okay to have this break....I want to get back.
And so I plan to.
Tomorrow sometime i'll be here......
so I'll see you then :).

not the Christmas card

2010-12-10T12:50:00.000-08:00

Now, we are not actually doing Christmas cards this year - this season has already gotten away from us & I don't think we can add another "to do" to the list without going absolutely crazy.
But we do want a picture for our books...
and this isn't it.

Nor is this...poor baby. She looks as if she is being lovingly strangled in this picture.

Or this ...

But they make for good memories....and quite honestly it's much more authentic this way :).

cheese

2010-12-09T21:44:00.000-08:00

Can't say that I particularly like this picture of myself - but the picture of that baby just makes me laugh. Perfectly captures how she is trying to smile for pictures these days.
If she is being forced into a picture - this is her trying-real-hard face.
And I am in love with it.
She truly has a wonderful smile.....but this isn't it.
More pictures to come of us all enjoying this Christmas season...I'll leave the ones out where I'm up to my eyeballs in paint.

thankful

2010-12-04T19:58:00.000-08:00

We made it back home to see my family for Thanksgiving & without much planning it turned out that both of my sisters were there too!
Would you look at all of those girls??
It was loads of fun & I may have doubled my weight in the food I ate.....and I consider it well worth it.
Complete gluttony.
And I do feel bad about that.
A little bit.
I have sisters & with girls comes drama.
And the drama has made me a better person. I'm thankful for those girls standing next to me. And for all those littles standing in front of us - rotting their teeth out with those lollies. And that boy would have nothing to do with the girls' table. He sat proudly next to his daddy & his uncle & drank the 1st sprite out of a bottle ever. In fact, I'm not sure he has ever ordered a soft drink at a restaurant before. It was a big night for the kid.

So there's a little update from Thanksgiving.....I'm a little delayed on the blog updates these days. I hope i am getting better....but I can't make any promises :). Christmas has arrived! & I have joined the crazy.

shopping

2010-12-03T18:49:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you, but I love so many things about Christmas. I love that my first baby was born around Christmas - I love hot chocolate with Christmas music playing & cookies baking & bringing treats to friends & decorating the tree & Christmas PJs & being reminded about the reason of this huge celebration. I am way more overwhelmed about the reason for Christmas with littles around wanting to know about the "why" of all the madness.

But equally on the other side of all the joy & fluttering I am balanced by the anxiety of the cost of Christmas. The cost of meeting everyone's expectations & checking things off the list.

And I know I'm not alone because I have heard more TV & radio personalities talking about how to deal with this particular issue. And if I sound really cynical there - well, maybe it's because I guess I do sound that way.

But the truth is that I LOVE giving the right gift - the one thing that will make that person so happy & feel so thought of.

I love to wrap presents.

I love all of those things.

It's the cost that drowns me in those heavy feelings.

That & the crowds.

Well. I am learning that there are ways to be doubly generous during the holidays.

This Christmas when you give a gift you can feel so good that you have been a part of big stories. I keep hearing about people who have wonderful gifts available & they are raising money for great causes - helping women & children rescued from the sex trade & people on the journey to adopt .... and more...I'll update again...but for now, check this out.Gu s & Lula - has AWESOME Christmas cards & more.

I plan to buy a print or two & have them framed in my house.

There are also crazy fun silhouettes!

Another sweet adoptive momma is making Christmas cards as well. Here's a sample of her work & her contact info

Intown Sundries has THE BEST smelling/feeling soaps & wraps them so beautifully. You can read a bit about what they are up to RIGHT HERE IN ATLANTA & check out her etsy shop here

And I'm a pretty big fan of what Emily & her crew are up to in Ethiopia - and I'm also loving this tumbler.

And I've ADORED the pin & shirt I bought from Sewing Seeds Ministry - 100% of the proceeds go to the community in Nicaruagua that is learning how to support their community. Here's a fun little picture of one of their creations in the making. And here's their website - I'm not really sure how to even get your hands on their things...but they are set up through Northside Methodist Church.

OK, that's all for now.....will keep you posted! Happy shopping!!!

Jingle Jangle

2010-11-11T02:24:00.000-08:00

Anyone who knows me, knows that right now I am staying up way too late these days.
And those same people know how much I love this.
It's the time of year when I am painting more than ever - I only do 1-2 shows a year usually & this is when they usually fall....and I enjoy it.
My hands can't get the things in my head out fast enough.
The Garden Market is this weekend. And could go on & on about why I love this market so much. But what I love most about it is how it began.
Wendi & I had paid way too much money to be in a 2 or 3 day show. We set up a big ol tent - I'm still not sure where that tent came from. But it was a poorly marketed show. Hardly anyone was there. And we were disappointed.
But we turned that moping into grand planning. That experience - that crappy market experience - is what gave birth to the market. A Market where our goal was to encourage people in what they do.
We knew right then that we knew people who had gifts that should be shared.
And we decided that we would be a part of encouraging them in their gifts.
We also believe in community - we believe in linking arms with one another to make this work. This video paints a sweet picture of our hope of this market.
People using their gifts - their God-given gifts. Bringing glory to Him by doing what He made them to do.

The vendors are generous - so often we find that the hearts of these artists are so pure & sweet. They are so often letting their gifts be an offering in donating portions of their proceeds towards various organizations. I love to see that.
Jennifer Tanksley, who is in the video above, is one of the artists. She has been with us for a few years now & I love the way she uses her gifts.
Check out the blog & learn about how you can be generous this Christmas, simply in giving your Christmas gifts. You are more than likely going to need a few gifts anyway....might as well let those gifts benefit others.

espanol

2010-11-10T03:59:00.000-08:00

OK, so I don't know where to write this down but I don't want to ever forget it...so I'm placing it safely on this blog so I'll know where to find it when I find the right place for it.....

This morning I was painting a little bit & my baby girl (2) & my boy (3 1/2) walked into the room - not even noticing that I was there.
My boy was playing with something & she wanted it.
So she asked him for it.
He said, "You need to ask differently"
She said something back with a "please" in it.
"You need to say it in spanish" he replied
She mumbled something
"That's not spanish"
And that was that.

I'm pretty pumped that I got to witness that conversation.
Made my day.

halloween....FINALLY.

2010-11-08T20:58:00.000-08:00

It's been a while.
I know.
I hope we can still be friends.
I'm pretty positive that I am talking to myself here, as who in the world would still be checking on this phantom blog.
I've been busy.
That's all there is to it. Crazy crazy busy.

But it's been good, fun crazy busy. Which I'm so thankful for.

But enough about all of that....here are some long overdue pics from halloween.
Cowboy Woody here with Little Bo Peep who lost her teeth.
Have I mentioned that yet?

She lost another tooth! And she's eating like a horse! I think she's growing.....which is killing me. And I know I can't stop it......but I just want to freeze time a little. Where is it going so fast!? Why is it in such a hurry?
And with all of her teeth falling out - well, now that boy is wanting his teeth to fall out. And the baby tells everyone that her teeth have fallen out. And I just can't take it anymore.

We actually made plans to go to a wonderful place for halloween but had also made big plans & promises for the trick or treatin' for the boy - this was his first year to be able to go & we couldn't let him down.
And you can see by this picture that we definitel pulled through. :)
Or I should say some very kind & flexible neighbors let us go a day early.

Buzz buzz

2010-10-25T03:37:00.000-07:00

Ok. Seriously? What do you do about that cuteness right there?
I know. I'm biased. But seriously.....
I had zero plans of dressing her up for halloween so a big thanks to Christina for letting me use this costume. I got more giggles lsitening & watching her say "buzz buzz buzz" all afternoon long.
I could eat her up.

Market plannings & goings on...

2010-10-23T01:51:00.000-07:00

Whew.
I'm exhausted.
A good kind of exhausted....the kind that comes with so many fun things going on - just not enough hours in the day to do them!
See the little jingle jangle over there?
Right there to your right?
So cute right?
That's been a primary activity that's been keeping me busy.....

The Garden market is in its 7th year!!
Which blows my mind.
What blows my mind even more is that even after all of the work that Wendi & I put in each year, & I will generally pull an all-nighter the night before just for kicks.....even after all of the stress that can come with pulling this thing off.....I have never wanted to bag it.
Even in that enhausting moment just as the last few people leave & we're packing things up & sweeping the place down & carrying heavy things to cars.....I still look forward to the next year.

Now, we'll see if that holds true after this year....

But for now. Right now - I am so excited!

And these wonderful artists - many of them mommas who put their amazing talents to work - some are willingly giving away items or 1/2 off of items just for becoming a fan on the garden market facebook page.

And I hope you will. And I you will encourage us all by passing the word on to your friends.

And we all hope to see you there....there will be a grand surprise which involves a certain Atlanta street vendor & a truck.

More details to come....to stay tuned - find it on facebook - or you can always check the blog, too.
OH & always feel free to grab that little jingle jangle from the garden market blog & post it on your blog.
Always appreciated....Plus, what a great way to get your blog all gussied up for Christmas :)

heart break

2010-10-12T12:49:00.000-07:00

Oh man.
I read this woman's words & I 'get it'. http://matthew185.blogspot.com/2010/08/my-broken-heart.html
When my heart first broke this way I became pretty self righteous & judgemental .... wondering what in the world was wrong with everyone else around me! It's like if you drink Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts. You get in a camp & have very firm reasons why you drink what you drinkn& in order to defend your territory you state your case for whatever coffee it is.
My heart broke for the orphan & there was a season in my life when I thought everyone should feel the same way I did. Until a friend helped me see that my words carried a lot of guilt for her.......
And a light switch went off.
This heartbreak was specific for my heart.
God was nudging me towards learning a little bit about the plans He has for me.....
And if there was heartbreak for me......
then there was a heart break for her....
and for you.....
And if we all encouraged one another in the plans & the purposes that the Lord has set out for us to do.....even if we are uncomfortable with it.....if we could spur one another to have faith enough to execute these good deeds in faith. ...
Well, what a world it would be.

It excites me to look into the eyes of my friends - even people I am meeting for the first time - totally aware that God has a plan for their life.
That. Is. So. Exciting!

I stare at my kids in wonder at this truth.

What is it?

My big girl looked at me the other day while we were walking through a store & she said, "You & Me should open a store like this. We should sell old things. We should do it together. And help people."

Speechless.

That's from within her.

That was a priviledged moment that I got to be a part of right there.

And I shouldn't be surprised that the sweet Lord is showing little glimpses of her herat to me. I beg Him to please help us know her heart - help us shepherd each of them to be who He made them to be.

Beyond the boundaries of my expectations.

goodbye summer

2010-10-11T20:31:00.000-07:00

I am aware that school has been in session for a while now & that summer officially ended in September, but it was only just a few weeks ago that it became cool enough to really need to pack the summer stuff away.
Pools are closed & for some reason I battle with whether or not it's okay to let my toddler wear white......she's 2.
Do those things matter at 2?
I lean towards no......but I feel a little awkward every time I do it.
The bummer about pulling out my fall clothes is that they aren't the fall clothes that I purchased just last fall....they are the clothes that I purchased many a fall ago....so the question is not only will it fit? But how outdated is it? And well, you just need a girlfriend or two to come help you with those kinds of problems.
Anyway....fall is my favorite & as soon as I am able to carve out a little time, I'll get to baking my pumpkin muffins. But for now, I just wanted to say hi.....

working it out

2010-09-21T02:12:00.000-07:00

In an effort to work off some of that apple pie, I went to the gym this morning....and couldn't locate the earbuds.
Ah the tragedies that I deal with on a daily basis.
Work out in an air conditioned room with a television attached to this workout contraption......in silence?
Seriously?
So I picked up a magazine....and I found this article.

I overdosed on Francis Chan several months back & haven't been able to listen to him for a while now....but reading this article reminded me of some of the inspiring things he has showed me.
I was just about to go on a rambling about the ways he helped me read the Bible in a new way & then I was going to say....and anyway, I'll spare you the details.

I hope you have a chance to read the article.....and I would love to hear what you think.

10 lbs heavier.....

2010-09-20T03:25:00.000-07:00

...and I think it was worth it.

Once upon a time there was this apple pie.

I heard about this apple pie a lot.

My friend Caroline would stare off from time to time & say, "do you remember that apple pie...."
And I would remind her that I WASN'T THERE FOR THE APPLE PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was envious of the people who had tasted this particular apple pie.

So when my little girl & her classmates returned from a field trip to an apple orchard with a bag full o apples....I thought it high time I tried this apple pie recipe.

And I must say......
It was worth the wait.

I saw that our little family had finished 1/2 of it soon after it came out of the oven & I thought to myself...."apple pie will make a perfect breakfast for tomorrow morning!" Healthier than other things I make for breakfast on a regular basis....pancakes with syrup??? How is that a good way to start the day? I've never understood it...and yet i feel good about myself when I put forth the effort to feed it to my family.
Weird.

But instead we decided to finish it off before the sun went down.
It. was. amazing.
And we had bagels & cream cheese for breakfast.

So there it is.....my very first apple pie.

2s

2010-09-16T03:56:00.000-07:00

A friend commented on how much 2 of my kids looked alike at this age & I got nostalgic....so these are some pictures of my babies on/around their 2nd birthdays.

she's 2. Part 1.

2010-09-15T04:24:00.000-07:00

Well.

In spite of my best efforts to prevent it from happening...

my baby turned two.

She is growing up & I can barely handle it!

How is this happening so quickly?

She's so tiny that it really did sneak up on me. I would laugh & say, "can you believe that little thing is almost 2?!"

Not fully understanding that that meant I would no longer have a 1 year old.

This little girl is precious in so many ways.

I adore her! Yes, she is confused about her role in this family. She is certain that she is in charge. And believes with her whole heart that she should get what she wants when she wants it & she has been this way from the get-go. I remember sitting with her in the hospital - just the day after she was born.

Just me and her. Or is it her and me? If my dad is reading this he will call & let me know....& I would actually really appreciate that.

Anyway, we were sitting there when our pediatrician came in to check on us. We chatted & she was just about to leave when I mentioned that my baby didn't like to be wet or dirty....even for a moment. She would yell to be cleaned off immediately.

This hadn't happened with the 2 that came before her & I thought Dr. F could offer some insight.

"Your third isn't supposed to be like that."

And that, my friends, really is who my kid is. She really likes to let us know how she would like things and she hasn't taken the hint that we aren't following her lead....maybe because we are following her lead. Maybe there in lies the problem.

And these are just a few pictures of day 1 of celebrating this baby girl's first 2 years on this planet.

I love being her mom.

I think we're going to have tons of fun together ;).

Happy birthday little girl.

first days

2010-09-12T20:20:00.000-07:00

All 3 had their first days of something these past few weeks & we don't need much reason for celebrating around here.
First days of anything warrant cake in our house -
so that's what we did.

We sat on the floor & ate too much cake.

This school year has kicked my tail so far & in all honesty, I don't have to get too many people to too many places. I think it's this new early wake time.
I don't understand why people insist on starting the day before the sun is fully risen. And as I type this, I feel like I am repeating myself. Like I have typed these same words on this here blog in the very recent past.

Well....I'm not adjusting.
And I'm not sure what to do about that.
But this is one of the reasons that you haven't heard from us in a while.

mre later

2010-09-06T18:47:00.000-07:00

I'm too tired from all the fun from this weekend. But I thought I would at least leave with a photo.
Will update when I am actually awake
Good night.
And Happy Labor Day!

lovelovelovelovelovelove

2010-08-30T04:56:00.000-07:00

Have I mentioned that my big girl has been riding her bike without training wheels for a few months now? Or that she has lost THREE teeth!?
I told you.....we've had a lot of things going on around here. And there is life that I feel like I am missing & yet i am with them every day!! I'm thankful that most of their days are still with me. I'm thankful that I understand most of what they are talking about becuase, well, I was probably there. I love these kids more than I ever thought I could.
And this love I feel for them has had me meditating on this Love that the Father has for me.
My love for these children pales in comparison.
I know that.

I am overwhelmed by that.

But I am learning that there really is nothing they could do to make me stop loving them.
Nothing.
I am thankful for a Father who stands at the door and knocks.
Not waiting for me to get it right.
Not waiting until I clean up my act.

And I am grateful that I can convey that love to my children.
Not that I always do.
But it is my daily prayer.

That I would not get in the way.
That I would not misrepresent who He is.
Knowing that His love covered it all on the Cross.

a picture

2010-08-26T12:49:00.000-07:00

I will be back to this thing....soon....i promise!
We had a great summer - one that ended with a whole lot of activity. Fun - super fun activity. And getting back into the groove of the real world has been harder than I thought. As if I have moved to a new country & learning my way around .... and it even feels as though there's a new time zone here in the real world.

I'm adjusting.
With the aid of strong coffee.
This isn't the best picture of the summer......obviously. But it is one of the ones that makes me smile.

being good stewards

2010-08-01T19:52:00.000-07:00

As most people these days, the family budget has been under intense scrutiny.

Which isn't a bad thing.

And in the middle of all of this scrutinizing, we are gaining a greater understanding of the choices we make with the money we spend.
Learning, for instance, that the money I spend on the luxury of a cup of coffee for me could benefit a person who has no food to eat.

Choices are important & they effect people.

And when Lee & I do a great job at cutting back where we spend we high five and feel proud & that's good, right?

But there's this other side....I have watched business I love go under.
And those are people.
Those are families.

I don't want to make excuses for living extravagantly by any means. But I don't want to forget some people simply by remembering others.

A good friend a while back was frustrated because her dryer was broken & she didn't want to spend the money to have it fixed. That's never fun. When you're trying so hard to stay in the black. To maintain life as we know it sometimes.
But then we began to think of the person fixing the dryer. A person who has probably been really hurting in this economy. A person who may have a family praying for work.

I hope I don't forget that by not spending money I can hurt people too.
I hope I remember that it's so much about people. And putting dollar signs in place of those faces, those stories, can be hurtful.

I don't think this is even a complete thought written in this post. But it's been on my heart for some time now....and I wonder if anyone else has felt this way. I wonder if anyone has some wisdom to share for keeping the balance.

Because we want to be good stewards.
But we want to encourage others in their work, too.

happy

2010-07-27T20:21:00.000-07:00

Some more pics of all the happy. It was a great trip....and that big girl said more times than I can even count, "I just love you, Mom & Dad. I just love you."

Filled up.

That's what we are.

And I've got more thoughts than I know what to do with rolling around in my head so stay tuned....

I may just let them all out on here. They've got to get out somehow.....

relaxing

2010-07-25T21:05:00.000-07:00

We've been relaxing & enjoying each other for the past few days - somewhere where there is less laundry and more time to play. It was great. Many more pictures to come....

swim a thon

2010-07-15T07:37:00.000-07:00

Our swim team had a great event. A swim-a-thon to raise money for the United Methodist Children's Home. The kids swam laps from the beginning of swim practice to the end.

An hour.

I had seen my girl at a swim meet and I was confident that she would do her best - but that her best would be about 5 laps....tops. I didn't know that they would let them use kick boards or flippers to help and that one lap would be considered 1 length of the pool.....but even so......10 laps.

Maybe 12.

Tops.

She's young. She LOVES to swim, but she's learning to swim.
Someone didn't tell her that because...
....that little firecracker swam FORTY laps.
FORTY!
I was so proud of her. She swam for the entire hour and thanks to some kind family members she was able to raise a substantial amount of money for this organization.

Check this place out - it's always encouraging for me to see the creative and compassionate things that are happening around us.

the 4th & birthdays

2010-07-14T08:50:00.000-07:00

Just some pictures from the 4th weekend. We also celebrated a couple of birthdays that weekend. And those shirts.....I just love those shirts....and I love the gal who made them. She helped some orphans through Takes A Whole VIllage and also helped a family in the middle of an adoption by making these. And be on the lookout because you will see her again....she's so incredibly talented.....

This picture just makes me laugh....are they afraid of the cake? Discussing buttercream? Fascinated nonetheless.

Sixty Feet

2010-07-12T15:23:00.000-07:00

You may remember a great big ol cupcake sale happening several months ago. It was a loaves & fishes kind of situation. Over $10,ooo was raised for Sixty Feet - the kids of Mukisa. The boys + a few buddies are headed back over to Mukisa in just a matter of days.

Here's the latest video .......

Nathalie from Sixty Feet on Vimeo.

gardens

2010-07-12T07:53:00.000-07:00

Some friends met us at the gardens today - so much fun. When it's a thousand degrees outside it's nice to run around in a fountain of water. At least that's what it looked like - I didn't have my bathing suit on. But I sort of regretting not having it.

My boy made his stop to see his frog friend....this time he wanted his buddy in the picture. It's fun to watch him grow up with those frogs....

Twins. I love those bathing suits. And I adore these girls. That Sarah is a leader and she's gentle and so friendly. It's been awesome to see God working in her life. And her momma is so dear to me. When I realized that Lee & I would be getting married & that we would be living in Atlanta, I began to feel a little lonely. I knew I didn't have history with anyone and I wondered if I could have a real friendship with someone without that. I'm so thankful for so many of the women that have been brought along side me in my time here. Amy is one of those friends - instant connection. Easy to talk about the big stuff with. She's someone who can call me on the carpet. Helps me to be better. I listen to a guy from Stonebridge Church in Marietta who talks about the 'lettuce in your teeth' theory. The idea that you are going to have lettuce in your teeth one day. In the same way, you are going to mess up at some point and it's a good idea to have people who love you walking beside you that can be honest with you. She is one of those people for me.

baby girl

2010-07-11T18:45:00.000-07:00

My bug had her first trip to the wter garden at the Botanical Gardens today.
I really & truly didn't think I caught any good shots.....but these really crack me up. This is her. Spicy. Very funny. Confident. And in love with her big brother. I look at each of my chidren and am always amazed at the very different people that they are. I am never confused to believe that I understand them completely. They teach me something different about themselves every day. And I know that they would be different without one another. Each one makes the other a little more of who they are supposed to be. I love love love these kids. But here's a little entry just for that baby.
The baby that never got the memo that she was a baby.

what was lost now is found....

2010-07-09T18:38:00.000-07:00

It has been so long since I have blogged. Summer has got me good. I'm in slow down mode. We're learning how to take it easy again now that swim team is over. The big recent happening around here involved the losing of our beloved friend, Lucy - she's a lamb, or a sheep, but not a teddy bear. She's my big girl's bestie. Lucy appears in many of our famiy photos and I will be sad the day something happens to her. Which is why the days that she was gone were hard on her.....and on me. We looked everywhere & called everywhere that we could think of. And in the spirit of the celebration the Father puts on when his lost son returns & the idea that the Father actually leaves the fold to find that one lost sheep....and the fact that we just read a book where a cake is made to celebrate the finding of a little bear's lost trousers, we decided that a cake would be baked upon her return.
We had a swim team banquet one night & when we came home, daddy let us know that he had something for her.
"Close your eyes"
She fell apart into this emotional laughter, falling into my arms, almost crying....and remembering immediately that we would be baking a cake!
"It will say 'WE FOUND LUCY TODAY!'" at which point I reminded her that tomorrow will not be the day that we found her, to which she replied "It will say 'WE FOUND LUCY YESTERDAY!'"
Awesome.

it was another tear jerker

2010-06-30T13:51:00.000-07:00

I learned that this thing would have come out a lot quicker had I remebered that slippery fingers do not pull teeth well. You know. No friction.
She was so scared & would go from begging me to pull it to crying & slapping her hand over her mouth. But when I took the bottom of her shirt & grabbed the tooth....well, it just came out. And she screamed & closed her eyes & she had no idea that I was holding her tooth in my hand. And I was teary & actually thought, "Wait! I'm not ready! We don't have our tooth-fairy pillow! It's out forever! I want to put it back!" I really & truly had those thoughts. & then she squinted up at me between sobs & saw what I was holding. And she burst out into giggles. And then ran to tell her daddy & her uncle Bobby who happened to be on the phone & got to share the moment.
And if that little bugger isn't wiggling for the next tooth to come out!

Too fast. It is all happening too fast.

Swagger

2010-06-19T06:01:00.000-07:00

OK, I will neither confirm nor deny if I am crying from laughing....

He's home!

2010-06-14T19:29:00.000-07:00

People ask me how Lee's trip to Haiti went.....and I try to answer the best I can. But it is his story to tell. I hope he will tell it someday on here. It may take him weeks, or even months, to really get the words out.
I know this.....he's changed.
It was so fun to be at the airport - we barely made it - but determined because of exactly what I knew I would see. The people that walked with him. The relationships that were formed. The people that heard his heart & shared a transforming experience with my husband. I wanted to be there for the hugs & the "goodbyes" & I wanted to meet them. It's been so great to hear Lee's stories from the trip & to see his pictures.....but what has also been really cool is to see other people's pictures. Sometimes I see a picture that someone took of Lee when he was in the middle of working or talking with children or friends. I see a little bit of this trip from their perspective. I would have loved to have been on that trip with him, but we knew that this was his trip. Not mine. Not even ours.
Like I said, this is his story. But I'll post some pictures. Here are some for now.....and I'm off to bed...and will post more for later.

my baby

2010-06-09T19:21:00.000-07:00

I have had 3 sweet mornings with my baby. That strong and very sweet little girl.
I have loved every minute of it.

he called!

2010-06-08T18:15:00.001-07:00

So, I have this special ring on my phone that tells me if Lee is calling. That way if I'm in the middle of changing a diaper or bathing the kids I won't jump up a runnin' for a "toll free number." And he has been in Haiti - we knew we wouldn't be able to talk, because of the $34/minute situation - which is strange because I can't think of 2 consecutive days that I haven't talked with him since we met! Anyway, I was upstairs folding some clothes & honest to goodness at that very moment just smiling as I heard those children playing & laughing together in the baby's room...when I heard it. Well, I went tearing to get the phone & was sure I missed it. The delay really made me think I had missed it. But there he was.....
He's doing great. Working hard. Getting extremely hot. Meeting some incredible people. And overwhelmed that people live in this place every day. They went to church & he mentioned how crazy it was to listen to hymns he sang growing up in a little church he went to sung at this church. In Haiti. In a different language.
We didn't get to talk long, but it was great. Thank you for all of your prayers and your phone calls and emails. Keep those prayers coming. This is something he (& we) has prayed about for a long time. And I couldn't be more proud of him.

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Eph 2:10

too big...too fast

2010-06-07T02:40:00.000-07:00

What is it about wanting to lose your teeth? I don't understand. And I'll admit that I've been dreading this. I'm not ready for this milestone. I will celebrate with her. I promise. There will more than likely be cupcakes involved....or chick-fil-a ice dream, because I'm addicted & I can't stop talking about it....I mentioned that I liked ice dream to a friend the other day at the pool & she let me know that I had already told her. An embarrassing addiction. But there are worse things, right? Anyway, back to the melodrama of motherhood.... right now I just find myself in disbelief that she is old enough to shed those baby teeth. I remember sitting in one of my child development classes...I think it was the Hospitalized Child....and our teacher was talkikng about grief. About how grief can be partner to even the great things.
My baby is growing up.
They all are!
My oldest is about to lose a tooth & my boy is standing up at the potty & my BABY is asking to be potty trained! I was dumbfounded when that tiny little 20 lb 21 month old looked up at me & said, "Ina go tee tee mommy" And then she did. Right there on the potty. Now she hasn't succeeded since that moment....but still.
Growing up.
Too fast.
It's all just too much.

we really CAN do something

2010-06-05T18:59:00.000-07:00

I have worked for a non-profit before & I have processed the $10 checks hand written by someone each month & it always made me smile. The effort & the consistency & the generosity of that person. Month after month after month.
And I have seen cupcakes turned into thousands of dollars that then turned into food & love & hope for the children of Mukisa.
And I saw people buy t shirts to support a young Atlanta native over in Tanzania helping to reshape the future of some children.
I am seeing Young Life leaders turning tshirts into changed hearts. And with a changed heart within a changed person.....watch out -
Because now I am watching our friend Billy use his birthday & a life changing experience to benefit others in a great way.
And through all of this I am seeing what may seem like a small amount of money change lives. When people come together - really BIG things can happen. Billy, for example, has over 4,000 people who are his facebook "friends"...... ONE DOLLAR from each of them will change people's lives forever. Not maybe. But for certain.
A dollar. You really cannot even buy a cup of coffee for that. I'm helping my husband pack for a trip to Haiti & he is able to go because many people chose to give. I am learning the value of every. single. dollar. It can really & truly change a life.
Change a community.
So often I have said "no" - not because of lack of interest or believing that a cause was unworthy. But usually because I think my little offering isn't enough.
And all alone, maybe it's not.
Sure, it may encourage someone. But it won't make a real difference to the problem at hand.
But when people come together & put all of their pennies in a bucket.......
that's when change happens.
Because here's the truth...and we know this deep inside, but something creeps in & tells us that we're wrong. But we're not. The truth is that we CAN do something. We can. It doesn't take much.
Do what you can.
Encourage others to simply do what they can.
And never out of guilt.
Always out of joy.
Do something.
I have never been more encouraged by the body of Christ in action. When we are mobilized....nothing is going to stop us.
Linking arms. And pressing forward. Working with what we've been given.

Haiti

2010-06-03T11:13:00.000-07:00

My sweet husband is heading to Haiti pretty soon. And we will miss him so much!!! And we are so excited for him. Our oldest talks about a time & a place "where the earth shaked" & she knows that her daddy is going over to help those people. I LOVE the organization he is going with. They believe not in jumping in for a few moments & then jumping out....but rather in committing to a place, learning how to best help that community get itself on its feet. They jump in with them & they stick it out for the long haul....building relationships. Changed lives.....on both ends. They are only set up to serve in Kenya & Haiti right now. They are not spreading themselves too thin. They are truly investing in these communities. Here's a video from the 410 bridge & here's their blog & here's Lee's page. I will hopefully be tracking his trip as well. Thanks to all of you who so graciously have given towards his trip. You have absolutely no idea how encouraging it has been.

summer is here!

2010-05-31T11:52:00.000-07:00

Summer is here & the ice cream consumption is hitting an all time high. And with these awesome tiny ice cream cones you can eat several with out ever feeling like you have been on an all-out ice cream binge. "They're my favorite" to steal a quote from my 5 year old. We had 3 different flavors & tried them all......several times.

I think I'm going to enjoy this season of summer :). But as the ideas swirl around in my head...I may need some help reeling it in....what are your ideas for summer?? Any favorite things you are looking forward to?

birthday

2010-05-24T02:29:00.000-07:00

I had a birthday this weekend & it may have been the best one yet. We had such a great time - and i didn't have my camera on me all day, but i did when the family loaded me in the car early Saturday to venture out to a brunch spot.....brunch...it rarely happens with small children & it is my very favorite meal. Doesn't really matter what time you eat brunch....just that it is brunch. And Lee researched places to find the very spot that would knock my socks off.....and it did. AND - the place had cupcakes....AMAZING cupcakes. They gave me one to take home as a birthday happy.....and did I mention that our waitress & I share the same birthday....a fun day. A really really really fun day.

So, i don't have pictures of me shopping or spending some one on one time with my boy or dinner out with friends.....I only have the pictures from brunch....and I have hit that year that was officially "old" to me growing up. I remember vividly having conversations of what I would be doing when I was "thirty-five" .....and none of it is like I thought it would be when I thought about the future at 17..... I am not in a retirement home, I am a little behind on pop culture & technology as a whole & when i was shopping I thought how nice it is to now be a season behind on all the fashion trends because I can shop the sale racks & be thrilled & feel "caught up".... and I look at those faces & am reminded that I couldn't have dreamed it to be this great. Overwhelmingly blessed.
And I am still planning to celebrate. I let Lee know that the month of May is mine....all mine and we will celebrate until it ends :). So, Happy Birthday to me :).

soccer

2010-05-19T03:39:00.000-07:00

I just love this kid. She's full of happiness & sillies. Lee & I got away for a weekend while they stayed with the grandparents (so so kind) & we got some good rest & good time together. Amazing the difference it makes all together. Their laughs are different....not really....but I hear them differently. I love Lee. I love these kids. I love love love this family. Anyway, I posted these pictures & these are the words that came with them.

That little girl brings joy with her.

And it's totally contagious.

falling apart

2010-05-10T19:48:00.000-07:00

I had this long sappy entry written out & saved. I re-read it Sunday morning & realized I should shut it all down at about 10 pm. When I stay up late & write blog entries it ends being not good. So, today you get the pictures without the story. These are the last decent pictures I got with my camera. A friend told me he thought I "looked like I knew what i was doing with my camera" & i got a little cocky. Started pushing buttons & things have been a disaster ever since. I can't get a good picture to save my life. (AG, could you help a sister out? Is it a solvable problem?)

Pride goes before the fall, my friends.....

We went strawberry picking. Here are the pictures.

these two....

2010-05-07T10:42:00.000-07:00

I can't wait to see the life stories that develop between this brother & sister. They are hilarious together.....

Mother's Day & 60feet

2010-05-06T12:35:00.000-07:00

Just a reminder that Shelly & Jean are hosting this tomorrow!

Our friends are hosting a party where you can check all of your Mother's Day needs off your list & help people in the process! the proceeds will go to help 60feet.

This Friday from 10am-12pm, Jean Kirby and Shelly Owens will be selling beautiful handmade Ugandan necklaces and 100% of all proceeds will benefit Sixty Feet. Suggested donation for each necklace is only $10-$20 (although in the words of the Cupcake Kids, you're always welcome to just "give whatever is on your heart").

Please stop by anytime during the morning (address is below), check out the necklaces, hear about the trip, see some amazing pictures and enjoy some food, fun & fellowship. Please feel free to forward this email to anyone you'd like and we'll hope to see you there!

If you can't make it or aren't local but you'd still like to purchase a necklace in support of Sixty Feet, just email me and let me know -- I'll get it to you. I've literally got every color in the rainbow.

Blessings,

Shelly Owens
1702 Dunwoody Place, Atlanta 30324 (Buckhead, Lenox Mall area)

she gave me words

2010-05-06T03:41:00.000-07:00

I read these words from this woman today.....she summed up a lot of the swirlings in my mind, but she writes in a way that people can actually comprehend. I try to communicate things to Lee & often get the stare as if I quite possibly could have been speaking Chinese. I just can't form my words into sentences very well....consistenly. Amazed with how she nailed the 5 stages of grief right here. I've been through them & never could have named it this way. Again, it helps to have good communication skills. I am learning that communication may not be my gift.....and that's ok. I'll just borrow from other people's blogs until I get the hang of it ;). These are her words....I hope they settle with you somewhere.

It has been three months since Nathan, Hannah, and I returned from Africa. In many ways it seems like we were there only yesterday. In others, it seems like an eternity ago.

I liken my first taste of Africa and my processing of it these last few months to someone who is going through the five stages of grief. I honestly think while I was there, I was in a state of shock. Being slightly numb is about the only way I could keep from weeping at every moment. I was carried along by the rhythm and flow of life in Ethiopia—the sights, and sounds, and smells. But I didn’t know how to feel. I was overwhelmed by the need and my lack of ability to do anything about it. And I certainly didn’t know how to reconcile everything I was seeing with my life back in America.

Which led me to anger. At injustice. At rich, spoiled Americans. At myself. Some justified anger, sure, but mostly my anger was misdirected. I wanted someone to blame. Surely someone was responsible for all this death and sickness and disparity, and so it must be all those people who don’t know, who don’t care, who don’t do anything. If they would just listen. If they would just care. I was ready to point my finger at anyone and everyone.

And, of course, at myself. Because Africa, like a magnifying mirror, reveals more of yourself than you really want to see. Things you hide well in a land of prosperity--like selfishness, laziness, greed, arrogance-- get exposed in a land of want. When you see a woman who has nothing use her meager supply of water and injera to serve you tea-- you can’t help but think of how often you’ve opened your overflowing pantry and sighed that there’s just nothing to fix for dinner. When you meet a man who walks the 3 miles back and forth to work, works 12 hour days, 7 days a week, all for about $2 a day, and he counts himself as blessed—you can’t help but think of how often you’ve complained you needed “me time” after a day “stuck” in your comfy house homeschooling your well-fed kids and folding enough laundry to clothe an army. When you give a child a piece of gum, and you look back to see them sharing it with 6 other children around them--you can’t help but think of overflowing Easter baskets and Christmas stockings stuffed full of goodies. And you feel fat. Regardless how much you weigh, you just feel like a soft, flabby glutton.

And so I entered the stage of bargaining. OK, God, I can still live in my house as long as I speak up for orphans and bring one home to live in it. I can still have 25 pairs of shoes as long as a couple of them are TOMS. I can still spend hours online doing nothing productive, as long as I occasionally post something thought provoking on facebook. I can still own way more than I need, as long as I donate some of the stuff I don’t really want anymore to Goodwill.

But that leads to depression. Because you can never really reconcile owning anything with having given enough. I think of the story where the man came to Jesus and said, ok, I’m ready to follow you, and Jesus said, only one more thing: go sell everything you have and give it to the poor. The man walked away sad. He could not do it. His heart was not willing. While I certainly believe it’s ok to own things, I can never again rest in a place of, ok, I’ve given enough, I’m good now. It will never be enough. And that can be deeply unsatisfying for someone who wants a simple black & white way to deal with my abundance. It just isn’t simple, people.

And I am finally accepting that. There is no easy answer. Really, I’m finding we here in America have a lot more in common with my new friends in Ethiopia than I originally thought. Our countries, yes, different indeed. But we are all people, created in God’s image, and in desperate need of the gospel. And redemption. What Africa wears on the outside, laid bare for all to see, we hide underneath layers in America. They wear physical disease, hunger, poverty, and need. Here, our layers of “stuff” hide emptiness, brokenness, despair, and a hunger that is never satisfied deep within our hearts. Their need is easier to identify, but ours is still there. Underneath it all are human beings with gaping wounds and fatal bleeding. We need a remedy. We need to be rescued.

And with my acceptance comes hope. I believe in a Remedy. I believe in a Rescuer. I serve a King who loves Africans and Americans. I believe He will use me, if I will daily seek to obey His leading in my life. I will not prescribe to you what you need to do, and what that will look like for you. I will not pretend there is an easy solution or that one need in one country is any greater than another need in another country. But for me, I cannot forget what I have seen, and I am now responsible for it. Under the veil of earthly things is a spiritual reality, one we sense when we close our eyes and stand still long enough to feel. We were meant to live for so much more than the American dream.

And so I will not doze off in the sleepy shire, I will engage in the battle. I want blisters on my hands and fatigue deep in my bones and scars on my heart from all I’ve seen and experienced---because too much is at stake. Lives are at stake. Physical and spiritual. I don’t want to cling tightly to anything, save Jesus. I want to spend myself—my life, my time, my resources—with reckless abandon. So that one day, when I stand before Him, I have nothing left. Nothing wasted. Nothing squandered.

I used to be anti-short-term mission trips. I just didn’t see the need to spend thousands of dollars to go somewhere for a few days where you would barely scratch the surface of the need but potentially leave with some sort of self-righteous satisfaction that you at least “did something”, returning to your life of complacency the other 350 days of the year. It seemed to me a bad use of resources that could be better used in the hands of someone who worked there long term as well as a hindrance to seeing the daily mission we are called to here.

But I have changed my mind. Go. Let the two worlds that are America and Africa collide in front of you. Spend the money, because in God’s economy, it’s a drop in the bucket. Like the woman who poured the perfume on the feet of Jesus, offer what seems excessive. When I asked an Ethiopian pastor who ran a local orphanage what I should tell my friends back at home, he said, "Tell them to come. Come and see. It means so much that you would get on a plane, leave your families behind, and come be with us and spend time with us.”

Why would that surprise us? After all, we were created for community. It is the greatest gift we can give as we seek to share Jesus.

So go and see. Serve. Share. But don’t wait to engage in the battle until your feet hit African soil. Start today. Start here. Because too much is at stake.

Join me in this conflicted state, where my sin and my obedience wrestle daily. Choose to live with eyes open. Stop spectating. Suit up, and get on the field, where you strive for the goal but often meet resistance and sometimes fail. It is not funner. It's harder. At times it feels like a burden. But it is what is true. What is real. And it is worth it, because it is where Jesus resides.

show update

2010-04-30T06:37:00.000-07:00

The show for The Gilberts & TAWV was yesterday & it was great! For more pictures & a short update go here. There are some items still available for sale or for order & with Mother's Day just around the corner you may have just found what you were looking for! Also, the best looking & most budget friendly 4th of July attire!